Aerosmith – America’s answer to Status Quo – have plodded around like a sick bull for the best part of 320 years on the rock ‘n’ roll circuit. With a mixture of stadium sized choruses, a front man who looks like a melted waxwork of a combination of WWE wrestlers and the regular soap opera of their substance abuses, they’ve somehow managed to not go away and die under a hedge.
Steven Tyler has managed to keep his toe in the celebrity pondscum by, lately, having a very open and ugly feud with his band mates, declaring himself to be “the whole rainbow”, whatever the shit that means.
And, now, he’s still hanging around like a rubber gargoyle filled with sleeping tablets and meths, sat behind a desk as one of American Idol’s judges. It’s the latter which he’d like to apologise for.
Getting someone as unhinged as Tyler on the programme is clearly a move by the show’s producers to recapture that bug-eyed mania that Sharon Osbourne brought to television all those years ago. Alas, with Tyler, you may as well hire a simian to throw fistfuls of its own faecal matter at contestants while rubbing its genitals against a tyre on a rope.
As such, American Idol has felt the need to say sorry for Tyler’s ‘outrageous behavior’, despite the fact that no-one can quite recall what he did wrong. Apart from, y’know, having a face so frightening that it could curdle water at a thousand paces.
Wednesday night’s show kicked-off with a black screen and the words:
‘American Idol would like to apologise for last week’s outrageous behavior by Steven Tyler. Mr Tyler has been warned and assures us it will never happen again.’
The show then played a clip immediately after the apology which saw Tyler asking a contestant named Jake Muck:
‘You know what Muck rhymes with, don’t you? Read my lips.’
Are we to assume that was the outrageous behaviour in question? If so, why would you then repeat the clip? It’s a bit like saying sorry for punching a nun square in the face and then turning around to everyone who missed it, saying…
‘Sorry! Sorry! I punched a nun square in the face… just like this’ THWACK! ‘Sorry. Sorry, won’t do it again… unless some of you missed it the second time ’round. For the record, her nose wasn’t broken the first time I did it. Could we get a replacement nun in here?’
Anyway, what the show should be apologising for is the renewed interest in one of America’s most pedestrian bands ever to blight the stage of an arena. And Steven Tyler’s stupid, stupid face. Apologise for that, not him mouthing the word ‘fuck’ at someone.
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Mary says
Have you watched the show! I certainly don’t think so by your comments. Steven Tyler is great on American Idol. And Aerosmith is not a pedestrian band. Pedestrian bands don’t sell over 100 million albums or get inducted into the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame. Sounds like sour grapes to me.
Cookie Monster says
Okay, I can’t let that comment go. First, let’s look at album sales at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_music_artists. Let’s cross reference that with the Rock n’ Roll Hall of fame inductees (http://rockhall.com/inductees/alphabetical/A/).
It may take some time to find a piece of… hold it, Abba. Mary, would you consider them pedestrian? How about The Bee Gee’s? Madonna? The Eagles? Fleetwood Mac? Genesis?
It drives me nuts when people quote sales (take a quick look at the 200-299 million group) and accolades (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_awards_received_by_Backstreet_Boys) as proof that a band/performer is “good”. Either you like the music, or you don’t.
For my part, I’ll say that I quite liked “Pump” back in the day, and still enjoy the songs. I don’t care for much from Aerosmith before that album (a bit here and there on Permanent Vacation, and of course the killer catch of Walk This Way), and certainly nothing after. To call the early pile of unpolished dung and later derivative formula-repetition “pedestrian” is, in my opinion, quite charitable. And my opinion is always right; I have the statistics to prove it.
fred says
Yup. This person has no clue. Aerosmith are one of the great bands. Steven Tyler is a very cool guy and a musical genius. I have yet to see a lead vocalist who can stack up to Steven. Robert Plant, David lee Roth, Ricky Medlocke, Mick Jagger, and a few of the younger punks would have to compete for second to Mr. Tyler. Anyhow what was that apology all about? I missed the whole black screen thing and came in at rhymes with. I wondered why Steven seemed more in the background and it made the show boring last night.
Kali says
Jealousy is such an ugly thing! Did Jon Bon Jovi write this ?
Baaahhaaahaahah says
Rubber gargolye on tranqs and meth is the best description of Steven Tyler I’ve seen in some time. Aerosmith has had a few songs that are o.k., but on the whole they’re highly over rated. And American Idol sucks as a whole and started the flavor of the month network copy cat douching of t.v. that is helping to even further dumb down an already brain dead audience. On the plus if American t.v., and *ahem* “music” (all I have to say is Aerosmith, Michael Jackson, and Beach Boys…the only thing they’re worth is human test dummies for drug interactions) audiences get any more brainless they will qualify as zombies and can be legally shot in the head. Marvelous!
Michael says
What. … The hell … Are you talking about? I have never read an article anywhere that is so disturbingly out to lunch???
Oh Thank you says
Thank you for the biggest laugh I’ve had all day! Steven Tyler….musical genius????? BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself! Christ that’s like saying Vanilla Ice was the height of hip-hop.
mcyi9jm2 says
Oh Hecklerspray – do you have to be mean about everything, true that’s your charm but I’m always sad when we disagree.. I think Steven Tyler has been a huge breath of fresh air to the show and made it new and enjoyable again.. Idol had become so full of itself and whilst that may not change at least there is a little more humanity, humour and kindness in the judging, and hopefully some self deprecation.. Simon Cowell has become a parody of himself and whilst he
tiffany says
His good on the programme he brings it to life by been ermm….hyper.
And whoever bahhhaaaahhhhahah is Im a big Michael Jackson fan and it hasnt his fault he sadly got into drugs. All the people around him could of helped him!. And where were his family then he needed them!. Moat of his family didnt care. They wanted his money. I think Janet cared. And he was a good father and I feel sorry because now the his kids live with his family and they will try to get money off them.
baaahahaahha says
“it hasnt his fault he sadly got into drugs.” Cystalizes what is so completely wrong with society today, both in the grammer and in thought. It’s called personal responsibility to not only himself, but to those poor kids that will unfortunately grow up with “issues”. If he was such a “good father” he should have thought about them before he pissed away his money on other kids parents, drugs, and his porn stash. Unquestioned talent, totally questionable character.