Word on the street is that Alex Trebek is leaving Jeopardy starting in 2016. Excuse me for a minute while I go cry it out in the shower. Am I the only one deeply upset by this?
I mean, I know the dude is almost 80, but this is freaking Jeopardy we’re talking about! It’s only the best game show of all time, next to Supermarket Sweep. (Sidenote – Can we please bring back that show? Or at the very least, the turtleneck / sweatshirt look?)
A few names have been tossed around as possible replacements. Ken Jennings, who was the longest running Jeopardy winner in history would be slam-dunk fabulous. He shares the same smug, ass-faced air of entitlement as Alex, as opposed to the glib, soul-sucking presence of Matt Lauer, who would be the worst choice for the job. Seriously. Want to kill the show forever? Hire Voldemort understudy Matt Lauer.
I’ve also heard Anderson Cooper’s name thrown in the ring, but dude has a giggle problem of the worst kind and no, that’s not slang for some weird gay shit, he really can’t control himself. Brian Williams is another less than stellar option, although he does have a great tie collection and a hot daughter with nice skin.
I came up with a few additional alternatives:
1. Ann Curry. Suck on that Matt Lauer!
2. Lester Holt. Let’s be honest, this show could use a little color and getting extra education into some black households might not be the worst thing ever.
3. Steve Carrel. Dude would kill it. And he’s from smarty pants Massachusetts, so you know he knows his shit.
4. A tag team duo of Will Ferrel and John C. Reily dressed in tuxedos.
5. James Franco. Renaissance Man 2.0. He’s done everything else on his career advisor’s list, why not this?
6. Rainn Wilson. Fact: this is a great idea. And “Bears, Beets, Battlestar Gallactica” would be the best category title ever.
7. Obama. Dude needs a job come 2016. I’m just saying; it’s not the worst gig in the world.
If all else fails, I say we resort to the Cash Cab guy and call it a night.