Agent Scully In Airborne Fight Shenanigans

hecklerspray has rediscovered The X-Files recently.

Proving that the DVD boxset is now officially this generation’s standard nostalgia-standby, we have been whittling away many an hour watching early seasons and looking for dimly-remembered episodes. The One With The Stretchy Bloke Who Climbs Out Of Toilets! The One With The Cheeky Little Dead Siamese Twin Who Scuttles Around Killing People! The One Where The Kid From Saving Private Ryan Develops Magic Lightening Powers!

And - of course - this has all brought to mind that old teenage crush on Agent Scully herself Gillian Anderson (a crush that was actually legally enforceable to any mid-90’s schoolboy).

Not that we’d tell her about all of this, mind. She might get drunk and start slapping us on a plane.

Note to lawyers: we did say might.

Conflicting reports are emerging, you see, that - during a flight from Sri Lanka to England - Gillian Anderson (DVDs) got a little bit tipsy and starting "verbally attacking" a fellow passenger.

Having allegedly downed six glasses of red wine, Anderson turned her fiery gaze to a gentleman who was apparently neglecting to look after his child (leaving all the work to his hard-trodden missus). Witness Simon Jones claims that:

"The man was watching a movie and had his headphones on, minding his own business. Gillian reached over, pulled them off his head. I could tell she was drunk because she was putting her face right up to his. She was slurring as well, saying, ‘Don’t you think your wife needs
a break?’ and accusing him of taking his wife for granted. He was
saying, ‘Please leave me alone.’"

Jones then goes on to claim that Anderson was moved from her seat and placed in new surroundings, whereupon she decided to cover herself with a blanket and cry for an hour. Mind you - did you see the last couple of X-Files seasons? If hecklerspray had been involved with that nonsense, we’d probably be weeping too - possibly to the point, Cake-addict style, where we’d ‘cry all the water out of our body’. We expect.

This is all speculation, however. Indeed, a Sri Lankan Airlines manager has gone so far as to refute the story altogether:

"There has not been any complaint from passengers. For us it is of no significance whatsoever that she is a famous actress."

Oh, you know how we want to round this article off, don’t you? You just know. Let’s not pretend we’re ‘above’ all that. Let’s just get it over with.

Altogether now: The Truth Is Out There.

Sigh.

Read More:

Anderson’s Air Rage - Yahoo!

[story by C J Davies]