Look at you all. Your ears have imploded and you’ve been crying. For ages. It’s all Adele’s fault. Her shrieking, caterwauling racket has left the world in a state of submission, ready to give up. However, there’s good news!
But this good news doesn’t come easy. Your ears are about to get some blessed relief, but your stomach may throw-up in the process.
Adele gave an interview over the weekend, just before she bagged?six Grammy awards, and stated that she’s going to take a long time off from music because she likes having sex. ALL THE TIME.
Adele wants to go on a career hiatus so she can focus on her relationship with her boyfriend Simon Konecki.
She said:
“I am fucking off for four or five years. If I am constantly working, my relationships fail.?So at least now I can have enough time to write a happy record. And be in love and be happy.”
“And then I don’t know what I’ll do. Get married. Have some kids. Plant a nice vegetable patch.”
Nice to see Adele getting some vegetables in her diet.
But what’s all this about sex and being a wife and all that? Well, the next quote is going to see you with the horrible image of a naked human.
“Come on! I’m wifey material! I’m great,” she said. “I will do anything for my man. I am a good cook. I’m funny. Always want to have sex – well, most girls don’t!”
Ostensibly, this could be the end of Adele’s career. Not only is she going to take her foot off the gas while there is huge momentum behind her, but she’s also becoming happy. No-one ever made a gigantic selling album based on happiness.
In short – good riddance.
You are a idiot says
You are a idiot. No other words can describe you because I am a nice person.
Prepare for the ADELE fans. They will blow up on you
anonymous says
Ok, I mean that’s super mean
LeFarts says
I recently found a great video of some guys that died during the filming of one of Adele’s videos, it was kind of short, but quite moving, it brought tears to my eyes……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Ydg9S8CLM
Please take a moment to remember those who gave all…
Mangosta says
‘They will blow up on you’? Are Adele (peace be upon her) fans crazy fundamentalists now?
It must have been hard growing up with a name like You Are A Idiot. What were your parents thinking? At least it’d be easy to start fights. ‘Hello! What’s your name?’ ‘You are a idiot.’ *SMACK! BOOT! WALLOP!* ‘My face! My beautiful face!’
Still, better than You Are A Imbecile, You Are A Unintelligent Person or You Are A Ungrammatical Wazzock.
LeFarts says
everytime i step i dogshit, its your comment that comes to mind
Mangosta says
That must be some consolation after you’ve ruined your trainers.
Your Dunlop trainers.
That your mum bought you.
From Oxfam.
LeFarts says
Err……………..Oxfam, you must think I’m rich or something, i aint got that kind of loot, but one can only dream………
Drew says
God Bless you, you are right on, listening to Adele is like torture and out of some cruel joke every morning wake up turn on the radio and step in the shower and Adele comes on while I’m out of reach to change the station. When I get in my car if one of her stupid songs is playing I instantly turn it to a country station where I know I’m safe from her awfulness.