Who doesn't love lovely Adele? No-one, that's who. She's got it covered. Boys love her, girls love her, your mother loves her, your father ?thinks she's alright? and probably even your Nan would love her if she wasn?t in that home now because she's gotten so confused of late.
With one glaring exception. Do you know who? Your single-mother neighbour who puts the record on full-blast each Friday night at 10pm after a glass of Lambrini?
No. Only largely forgotten atrocious squawker Carol Decker, late of dreadful late-1980?s chart-bothering power-ballad-peddling buffoons T?Pau, that's who. And, more improbably, Betty Boo.
It began with a single tweet from Decker:
?I have decided that adele is a whiny old trout?
We?ll be gentlemanly and overlook the stone-cold fact that the ?old trout? reference is a bit rich coming from a woman whose twitter profile picture is at least fifteen years old in our estimation, and concentrate on the bare facts that Decker?s next gig is guest-hosting some woebegone local radio show in Newcastle, whilst lovely Adele with her lovely face has just conquered, like, the world and that.
You see, the thing is with Adele is that she's the female artist it's okay for blokes to like because they ?think she's got a brilliant voice? and she's just the right side of unthreatening for their wives or girlfriends not to get pissed-off about it, and for women to like because they ?totally identify with her? without being too physically jealous of her.
Or, as one person who replied to Decker?s tweet (since deleted) put it:
?She'd probably be less unhappy if she laid off the burgers?
Which is just not on (but sort-of funny). And she's dead good at the whole singing about heartbreak stuff, which is universal to any human outside the squalor of the hecklerspray office. (We have no real feelings.)
The whole thing seems to have back-fired on Carol Decker who is not as lovely as the lovely Adele with her lovely voice, lovely hair and lovely broken heart who you just want to have a lovely cup of tea with, as Decker has reportedly been receiving some rather threatening messages via Facebook. Not only that, but the person who replied to her tweet with the statement that Adele is not ?the next Paul McCartney or Paul Simon? has prompted musings that Decker is not ?exactly the next Elkie Brooks innit.? (By us.)
Oh yeah, Betty Boo retweeted the original comment, then said it was just because she thought the whole thing was funny and then kept her head well down. Betty. Boo. Who isn't exactly the next Daphne and Celeste.
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Mithaearon says
Adele fucking sucks monkey balls and is all that is wrong with modern music today. All safe and over produced with no sense of danger in her music. I think she should give up her current crap warblings and form a Black Flag type hardcore band.
Jack says
Wow !!!! Elkie Brooks ,now that’s what you call a great singer !!!
Klortho says
Every time one of her songs comes on the radio I nearly bash it to pieces. SICK OF ALL THE WHINERS IN “MODERN MUSIC”. FUCKING GET OVER YOUR BULLSHIT….. just about everyone’s been through it and dwelling on it is not the fucking answer.
We could have had it all.. IF ONLY YOU WEREN’T MOANING ON AND FUCKING ON. BLAHH!!!