God bless Abi Titmuss. Imagine if your entire career was founded on a video where you put John Leslie’s penis in your mouth.
You’d struggle, wouldn’t you? But not Abi Titmuss. In many ways, John Leslie’s penis acted as a kind of gruesome veiny key that would go on to unlock the rest of Abi Titmuss’s life. Thanks to that one moment, Abi has reached pinnacle after pinnacle in every field she’s operated in – tawdry nearly-named photos, tawdry nearly-naked videos, horrible reality shows, sex-obsessed books that appear to have been written by a 14-year-old boy. And now acting.
Well, not really acting, unless you count getting a bit-part in a musical that’s playing in pub as success. But don’t tell her, will you? You’ll break her heart.
You might know her best for putting John Leslie’s penis into her mouth and then fingering a woman in a sex tape, but Abi Titmuss is an actor now. You can tell this by the way she had a walk-on role as a nun in one episode of Hotel Babylon last year, or the way that she spent the majority of that awful 2007 Janet Street Porter reality show about a magazine bobbing up and down and telling people that she was an actor, even though you could see everyone thinking “But aren’t you that woman who put John Leslie’s penis in her mouth once?” as she told them.
Anyway, Abi Titmuss is definitely an actor because she’s currently starring in a stage musical. Well, starring’s the wrong word, because she’s only got a bit-part in it. And it’s playing in a room under a pub. But Abi Titmuss is definitely an actor. Definitely. She told the Fulham Chronicle:
“I never lost sight of the fact this is what I’ve always wanted to do. I just never imagined it would take so long because when I was modelling, I kept thinking to myself it would only last a week… I still get prejudice but I don’t dwell on it. I have to work doubly hard to prove myself but I wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t for hard work or a modicum of talent.”
But you know what? Good on Abi Titmuss. At least she’s approaching this new career from the ground up, rather than just thinking she’s entitled to a movie role just because she put John Leslie’s penis in her mouth once. And we’re sure she’ll make it to the big time sooner or later. Admittedly at her current rate she’ll be about 95 years old by the time she actually gets there, but whatever.
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Jack says
Better than pretending to be a journalist, you muppet!
Seriously – get a life, mate! You may think being a camp heckler about z-list celebrities is a career, but you need to wake up and realise you are a 1000 times LESS important than the morons you take the piss out of.
Sad, sad little man