To be an internet sensation these days, you need one thing – a monobrow that looks like an upturned bikini wax strip.
It worked for Susan Boyle. All she had was a monobrow, a haircut that looked like it was made out of animal pubes and a voice that was relatively pleasant compared to the ghastly atrocity that was her face. That is why people like her, isn’t it? Because they can’t get over the fact that funny-looking people can sing almost as well as normal-looking people? Right?
But get ready to pretend that you’re much deeper than you actually are again, Susan Boyle fans, because there’s a new kid in town. It’s Lin Yu-chun from Taiwan, and he can sing I Will Always Love You almost as well as Whitney Houston. Plus he’s also got a terrible haircut and a lousy dress sense, so you can patronise the crap out of him too! Hooray!
We don’t know much about Lin Yu-chun, but we know that he’s in for a hell of a ride. The new Susan Boyle, they’re calling him, because he can sing quite well despite being a bit odd to look at. And also because he appeared on a talent show and has since become a YouTube sensation, but mainly because he’s quite weird to look at.
Here’s the official story so far: Lin Yu-chun turned up on a Taiwanese talent show called One Million Star and – once everyone had laughed at his stupid hair, awful bow tie, chubby frame and sole eyebrow that’s the exact width of his face, he proceeded to sing a version of I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston in the style of a fairly accomplished karaoke performer. Look, here’s the video:
Wonderful, wasn’t it? We don’t know who this Hugh chap is, but he must be extraordinarily flattered by the fact that Lin Yu-chun performed a song about how he will always love him on the television. What’s that? He was singing ‘I will always love you?’ Could have fooled us.
Anyway, thanks to this video, Lin Yu-chun looks set for a Susan Boyle-style jet ride to the big league. Oh, the things he’ll experience – becoming a global punchline for the way he looks, having a nervous breakdown because of it, trying to make himself look smarter as a result, being verbally abused by people who say that fame has changed him as a result of that, checking into a recuperation clinic as a result of that, losing the final of One Million Star to a bunch of dancers, releasing a best-selling album and then living the rest of his life in a precarious state of emotionally fragility surrounded by meaningless objects of material wealth.
Yep, that Lin Yu-chun’s in for a ride alright.
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PP says
“…and he can sing I Will Always Love You almost as well as Whitney Houston”. You may want to replace the words ‘almost as well as’ with ‘better than’ after viewing Whitney Houston’s train wreck performance in Sydney recently http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0u-7mVt0UU
Joe Momma says
You couldn’t work in “Pulling turds out of his butt”? You suck Herritage!
Stuart Heritage says
And it was STARING ME IN THE FACE that whole time, too. A million apologies.
Urjay says
dude, Taiwanese here.
we totally didn’t expect that Lin would ever cause such huge global effect. and we’re really looking forward to what’s gonna happen to him.
maybe we will see him on Larry King live or Ellen next month, who knows?
anyway, this whole thing is crazy as hell.
no offense, but I wanna remind you that the show that Lin appeared on, is called “Super Star Avenue.” “One Million Star” is another show, broadcasted on another channel in Taiwan.
Marilyn says
I always love your posts, I laugh so hard that my sides hurt!
James says
Lin Yu Chun is also a great dancer! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-LmdukLxaA