It would appear that Shelley Malil doesn’t take break-ups too well, if allegations levelled against him turn out to be true.
The actor, who played the well-known part of ‘that Indian guy’ on ‘The 40-Year-Old Virgin’ was arrested for attempted murder after he allegedly stabbed his ex-girlfriend more than 20 times. He has also been charged with mayhem and burglary, which at least brings something of a smile to an otherwise horrific situation, if only for their funny names.
Out of interest, what is ‘mayhem’ as a charge? Would a megalomaniacal evil genius, bent on the destruction of humanity as we know it be simply charged with ‘mayhem’ when they unleashed their robotic hordes on the populace? Or would they be slapped with the seemingly far more rational charge of ‘genocide’?
But we digress, and must veer back to seriousness.
Kendra Beebe was the victim of Malil’s alleged attack and suffered severe injuries, leaving her in a critical condition. There have been no further updates on her status, which could be read as either a good or a bad thing. According to a report released by the Sherrif’s Department:
“Malil and the victim had apparently been in a dating relationship which recently ended.”
Shelley Malil was picked up by police as he left a train, apparently on his way to meet his lawyer and turn himself in. So at least he saw some sense – that is, he saw sense after apparently stabbing another human being a ridiculous number of times (of course, stabbing another human being even once is a ridiculous number of times, but you get the point).
The reasons for the charges of mayhem and burglary were not made apparent, though the latter is self explanatory and we’ve already gone into some wild speculation on what the former could entail. They also fall somewhat by the wayside when put into context with the other, major charge.
Needless to say, Malil has most likely hurt his chances of a role in any upcoming Judd Apatow movies. Attempted murder just doesn’t sit well with the movie-going public.
Shelley Malil is set to appear in court today for his arraignment, and if found guilty on the charges could face a maximum of life imprisonment. We hate to re-iterate too much but, well – that’s a bit of a daft career move, isn’t it? Even if it’s all a big misunderstanding and he is proven innocent, it’s not going to have helped him pick up new roles. Or girlfriends, come to think of it.
Malil has featured in a number of screen roles including ones on NYPD Blue and Scrubs, as well as on a Budweiser advert which aimed to imitate the not-at-all-annoying ‘wazaaaaaaap’ crap they had done the year before. Fortunately, it didn’t.
We’ll keep an ear to the ground for more news on Malil’s case, like the faithful hounds we are.
Also, hecklerspray would like to send our best wishes to Kendra Beebe, on a more serious note.
Devin Hykes says
ian, after reading this article i am at a loss of words for you. i image your parents are so proud of you right now. You tried to make light of a serious situation. Shelley Malil has been arrested for attempted murder and you are making cracks on his future acting career. wow. i really hope you can be happy that a mother of two lies in a hospital bed in critical condition. I dare you to go to the hospital and read her your article to her and her kids!! come on. gentleman wager, $1.00. you wrote this for millions to read why not let the woman who got stabbed listen to this? think she would get a laugh out of this? Let me know. you have my e-mail address.
later
Devin Hykes
Alala says
this world is fucked…
gir says
If you can’t see the humor in being brutally stabbed multiple times, you need to relax.
Mark Bellicose says
multiple stabbings. lol
Glyn says
From the currency of stake i would be safe in assuming that Mr Hykes is of an american flavour.
So it comes as no suprise that Ian’s humor was lost on Devin.
Whilst she may not find it hilarious, i don’t think Shell’ should read this, considering the nature of the attack i would say she was at a high enough risk of her sides splitting already (…too dark?).
xumwahx
Sarah says
Glyn, are you trying to imply that Americans don’t have a sense of humor, based on the fact that they’re American? That’s not very logical. And people don’t come in flavors, ice cream does.
As for “sides splitting”? Slightly amusing, very obvious…but I’m going to leave the humor bit to hecklerspray.
Joke Police says
stop spelling humour wrong!
Sarah says
good one
Cheri says
Gallows humor is sometimes the only way to process information that is of a dark nature. That being said, please keep in mind that you’re only hearing part of the story. It’s much more sensational for the media to say stab wounds versus cuts, ex-girlfriend when they had not split up, not mentioning his wounds, etc. Physical altercations are horrible for everyone. At the time the press was having a field day with this event, the police hadn’t even finished their investigation.
I ask that you keep an open mind until Shelley can tell his side of the story in court. For legal reasons, he is unable to address anything related to this fight. I used to transcribe appeal hearings, so I know that until you hear the full story, it’s too easy to jump to conclusions.