10 Things Americans SHOULD Be Thankful For

So, the American Thanksgiving was this past week and everyone celebrated by sharing memes that had Kim Kardashian’s greased up ass in place of a turkey and then killing each other for cheap TV’s the next day for Black Friday. I’m Canadian, so my Thanksgiving was over a month ago, so I’ve given all my thanks and had my turkey and whatever.

Though sometimes the world can be a really shitty place and it seems like there isn’t a whole lot to be thankful for, I’d like to remind you that the world is still full of gems. So if you, my American friend, were left feeling less than thankful on Thanksgiving this year, here are 10 things that might make you feel a little more #blessed

Cara Delevigne’s?Eyebrows

Not since Audrey Hepburn has someone been so fucking famous for having such magnificent eyebrows. Look at those majestic things! Those eyebrows on fleek! I don’t know what that means, but the kids and cool moms (I’m looking at you, Amber Rose) are saying it, so I assume it must be good (or terrible, who knows?!) Either way, you could spend a whole day Googling images of Cara’s luscious brows.

 

Kylie Jenner’s Lip Liner Game

Homegirl went from having lips like my nan (my nan has really thin lips, so that reference means nothing to anyone who hasn’t met her), but draws those things on so big she makes Angelina Jolie look like a skinny lipped bird mouth. Those things are works of art. Only in American could a 17-year-old girl get this much press for her amazing lip liner artistic skills #GodBless

 

Drunk Uncle

Oh, you don’t think you have anything to be thankful for? I guess you don’t have the internet, two eyes, two ears, and a soul, because if you had those things you’d be watching?Drunk Uncle clips and feeling so happy to be alive.

 

Instagram

America: Where anyone can be an Instaragm star. I’m currently obsessed with this woman on Instagram called mar_cee4eva. She posts outfit of the day VIDEOS! VIDEOS! NOT PICTURES! And she doesn’t just take work out progress pics, oh no, again, VIDEOS! Homegirl has taken her Instagram game to a whole nutha level.

 

Gif’s of Kim Kardashian’s Ass

Kim’s ass is like a national treasure in it’s own right, and Nic Cage should totally do a National Treasure 3 where Kim’s ass goes missing and he has to find it (he’d legit probably do that. He’s got money problems). However, the gif’s that her ass have spawned are really what you should be thankful for.

 

Golden Girls Reruns

Do you live in a world where you get to watch reruns or boxsets of these sassy old fucking broads? You do? Then shut the fuck up and be grateful #blessed

 

Louis CK

I dunno. I just think he’s really smart and funny.

 

Kristin Wiig’s Facial Expressions

Go Google Kristin Wiig gifs and tell me you don’t feel thankful. You won’t be able to! It isn’t Possible!

 

The Fucking Weirdo That is James Franco

And the fact that the above gif is potentially the greatest gif in the history of gifs. I fucking love that pretentious nutcase!

 

That they keep letting me publish shit on the internet.