This weekend, three movies that are hotly expected to win Oscars were released – so which one topped the weekend box office?
Haunting Holocaust drama The Reader? Maybe the powerful movie adaptation of the wildly successful play Doubt? Or what about Gran Torino, the movie containing what’s thought to be Clint Eastwood‘s last ever role?
Actually, none of these. In fact, the movie at the top of the US weekend box office this week is The Day The Earth Stood Still -the movie where Keanu Reeves wants to blow up the world because some people don’t properly separate paper and plastics. Or something. Fun!
Every now and again Keanu Reeves will pop up in a role that nudges his career into a slightly different orbit. First came the Bill & Ted movies, then Speed, then The Matrix. So does The Day The Earth Stood Still count at Keanu’s next level of progression?
No, obviously it doesn’t. The Day The Earth Stood Still looks like it’s absolute rubbish but, hey, it beat Clint Eastwood’s new film in the weekend box office. And so what if that’s only because it was released on 593 times more screens than the Eastwood film? It still counts for something, doesn’t it? Does it? No? Oh well. Here’s the US weekend box office top five…
1 – The Day The Earth Stood Still (First The Day After Tomorrow, then The Happening and now a remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still where Keanu Reeves comes along and blows everything up because we’ve melted the icecaps? Seriously, these environmental disaster movies have to stop now, because at this rate it’s just a matter of time until we’re all forced to watch a film about Nicolas Cage shooting the wind in the face, and that’s not something we’re prepared to deal with) $31,000,000
2 – Four Christmases (Ever noticed how Vince Vaughn always gets Jon Favreau in all of his films, but Jon Favreau never lets Vince Vaughn anywhere near his films? Not that this is a bad thing, you understand – the last thing that Iron Man needed was a burbling self-satisfied assclown. Well, you know, another burbling self-satisfied assclown) $13,270,000
3 – Twilight (We can’t see Twilight being a big success when it opens in the UK on Friday, you know. However, we’re only saying that because the TV spots featuring Robert Pattinson trying to explain what Twilight is in a dreary monotone make us want to kick our TV to shards, set it on fire and hurl it out of the window. And, as everyone knows, we do speak on behalf of everyone in the UK) $8,013,000
4 – Bolt (For all its impressive record-breaking, the fact remains that Bolt is merely the Buzz Lightyear storyline from Toy Story repackaged into a full movie of its own. Now that the formula has proved successful, expect to see it repeated again and again in the very near future. We’re especially looking forward to the new Disney film that’s just an extended version of the bit with the geese from The Aristocats, but starring a funny cow or something. It’ll happen) $7,506,000
5 – Australia (Australia hasn’t set the world on fire anything like it was supposed to. But at least both of its stars still get to appear at the Oscars – Hugh Jackman is presenting them and Nicole Kidman, of course, is providing her services as the model for the statuettes. It’s her face, you see – so much easier to copy than these other actors with movable faces) $4,285,000
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clmco says
If you haven’t seen the movie-how can you say it is rubbish??? The movie is not -it repeat not- a pushy in your face enviromental movie. Only one time does it say anything about us killing the planet. The story is more about relationships. This movie made me cry, laugh, say “holy sh*t” and say “cool”. Its a great movie. Acting was wonderful. And the questions the movie brings up it answers. -No plot holes at all. I advise people to go see it and make your own opinion. Don’t rely on other people to make your own mind up!!
Julian Mentat says
>> This movie made me cry, laugh, say