Back in the nineties, five random women were thrown together and ordered to do some stupid dance moves.
Thus, the collective known as The Spice Girls was tragically born. They were one of the powerhouses of music with each member of the group supposedly relating to a type of fan. Well, apart from Ginger Spice. Everyone was united in laughing at her.
But the group didn't come together of their own merit. The evil mastermind behind The Spice Girls was none other than Simon Fuller. Fast forward nearly 20 years and Fuller has decided to create the male equivalent. But it looks like he needs some assistance in finding the perfect members for the group. Should he turn to established musicians or producers for help? Or an all-round blogging gimp and supposed celebrity like Perez Hilton? Looks like Simon Fuller is losing his grip on things.
Simon Fuller and Perez Hilton collaborating on a boyband project seems strange to us. No, really we're being semi-serious for once. One of them is a powerful man who has great knowledge about the entertainment industry and has legions of fans and followers. The other is a bloke who draws deformed-looking cocks on people and hosts all sort of failed tour ventures.
But perhaps the two want to see another colossal death when it comes to pop music. After all, can anyone remember One True Voice from Popstars: The Rivals? They died pretty much after their first single, but lovely Girls Aloud are still plodding away despite coming from the same show.
Over the years, there have been a variety of boybands offering all sorts of musical entertainment. But first of all, you need a catchy name to draw in the fans. You know, something catchy and snappy like Westlife, Boyz II Men, Boyzone, 5ive, Backstreet Boys, N*Sync, Another Level, Take That, New Kids on the Block, Jonas Brothers, East 17, JLS or our favourite boyband of all time, Blue. So what have Simon Fuller and Perez Hilton decided to call their show? Boy Band Search. We know, it must have taken forever to come up with that.
Yes, we're disappointed too, and now have images of two grown men running round the streets of America with comedy-sized nets. So what will the show involve? NME.com reports from a presumably screeching Perez Hilton:
?All of the members will sing. All of the members will dance. Finding our talented group won’t be easy, but the end result is going to be soooooooo worth it. I can hear the screaming girls already!”
A band that can sing and dance? Jeez, that seems like the core ingredient for any functioning boy band. Who wants to see a group doing things like juggling or cattle herding onstage? We want flimsy dance routines complete with limp dancing. NME.com also reports:
?Entrants must be between the ages of 13 and 21. The pair have also teamed up with Madonna and Britney Spears tour director Jamie King for the show, transmission details of which are yet to be announced.?
If it does ever become a real show, expect Simon Fuller to judge on musical merit whilst Perez Hilton goes for the more traditional method of who looks best with their shirt off.
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Alice says
Can someone please shoot Simon Fuller, or at least bankrupt him. Then everyone can turn around and throw things at him on the streets – and I don’t mean money!