Announcing that Liza Minnelli is in rehab again is like announcing that Kim Kardashian has posed nude for another magazine pictorial, or that Chris Brown done something douchey again. It’s like, yeah, and what? People anticipate that shit. But anyway, here it is: the beloved goddess that is Liza is once again in rehab.
Minnelli, 69, is back in rehab for a drug and alcohol problem. I’m not even sure how many times she’s been in and out of rehab, or what drugs she is on now, but Liza has always been super open about her tru luv always relationship with painkillers, so one can assume.
The original (and more talented) Lindsay Lohan (lol jk, “I Know Who Killed Me” was a masterpiece) recently checked into rehab in Malibu and is said to be doing really well.
Liza’s first stint in rehab was way back in 1969, then in the 1980’s she jumped on the Betty Ford bandwagon which was pretty hip for a while there.
Liza has always been very “Yeah, I have an addictions problem, so did my parents, when I get hooked on shit I ask for help and kick it for a while, AND WHAT? Mind yo business, I’m Liza Minnelli!” and props to her for that.
It’s funny, Liza Minnelli goes to rehab a million times over fifty years and I’m like “Good for you, girl, admitting you have a problem and always getting help when you need it.” Yet when Lohan goes to rehab several times in like five years I’m like “Bitch, sit your hot mess ass down. Look at your life, look at your choices!” Maybe it’s because Lohan doesn’t even really admit to being a hot mess addict, where as Liza is more like “Yeah, I love painkillers, because, I mean, who likes to be in pain? Idiots, that’s who!”
Either way, the more Liza Minnelli goes to rehab, the more I assume she’s just like her character on “Arrested Development”, and THAT’S something I can really get behind.