Shania Twain once told us that ‘the best thing about being a woman is that you get to have a little fun.’ Of course, men have fun too. And when men and women have fun together, everything is just great, right?
Wrong. You see, in this case, ‘a little fun’ happened to be Shania’s husband – Mutt Lange – sticking his member inside Twain’s best friend in the whole world. “That don’t impress me much, uh-uh-uh-ooow“, Shania probably said at the time she found out about it all.
The fallout of this heartbreak left us all tantalisingly close to Shania giving up on music completely, never again subjecting us innocents to the appalling, vomiting country-pop smashes that briefly took over the universe like some kind of sonic herpes.
Apparently, Shania was utterly shattered by her fella’s infidelity. She told Oprah Winfrey that she became
“an emotional mess”
“I figured mentally that I would never sing again.”
See, Twain had not only lost her husband, but also, the man who produced and co-wrote her records.
“I hadn’t written a song without this man in 14 years….How do I even get started?”
Well, what musicians normally do is translate their pain and thoughts into their music. Especially country singers. Failing that, what with you being so famous and all, you could always hire someone new to do it, right? You may not have talent, but at least you have your voice, right?
Twain revealed that she also suffers from dysphonia, an ailment where the muscles squeeze the voice box, leaving you sounding like a rasping housefly doing a Cartman impression while stuck in a moped engine, razzing in first gear.
“My fears and anxieties throughout my whole life have been slowly squeezing my voice. I was losing it slowly and progressively.”
Alas, unable to sing, Twain decided to sit down and write a book which looks at her failing marriage and knackered voice, called From This Moment On, as well as a documentary series called Why Not?
However, the best bit of this tale is still to come.
Brilliantly, Twain decided to find love with a chap called Frederic Thiebaud. Who he? He’s the former husband of the woman who ran off with Shania’s bloke. It’s like ol’ country incest!
Fantastic!
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