Imagine the glorious baby that would be created if obnoxious pop brat Avril Lavigne ever had a baby with syrup-faced goon Deryck Whibley.
And imagine it hard, because you won't get to see it for a while. Although reports have been fizzing around claiming that Avril Lavigne is expecting her first baby, Avril's reps have dashed everyone's hopes by claiming that none of it is true.
But, hey, at least now that she probably isn't pregnant Avril Lavigne gets to remain the cleverest and most mature person in her family. Unless she has a pet gerbil, of course.
That Avril Lavigne, she's always copying everyone's ideas isn't she? After the storm last year over the fact that her songs Girlfriend and I Don't Have To Try sounded an awful lot like songs by other people, it's been claimed that Avril Lavigne has now decided to rip off Nicole Kidman's idea of letting a man's sperm penetrate the cell membrane of her oocyte up the ampulla of her fallopian tube and fusing together to create life.
In other words, some people think that Avril Lavigne is pregnant. If we were Nicole Kidman we'd sue.
However, even though reports have been buzzing around about Avril Lavigne's supposed pregnancy thanks to her husband Deryck Whibley apparently telling people that he was excited about becoming a dad, Avril herself has denied the claims. Well, she got her publicist to deny the claims – we're still not entirely sure that Avril's capable of stringing more than three or four words together at once by herself. Anyway:
Lavigne’s representative has dismissed the reports, saying: “It’s not true.”
So it was all a great big false alarm. Still, at least this way Avril Lavigne won't have to balance her newborn baby with her long-held hobbies of drinking to excess, writing songs in aneurysm-inducing text-speak and leading Britney Spears astray. So it's probably for the best.
Still, at least we know that Avril Lavigne definitely isn't pregnant despite all the reports.
If we were Eva Longoria we'd sue.
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jim says
No, she’s not preg, I would hope so :(
http://avrillavigne.1sta.com
Jane says
you try so hard for someone you dont like. if you dont like Avril why do you waist your time on writing on her………. get a life or do some more productive stuff than this.
munch says
gah i dislike avril.
hehe like the part about the gerbil ;)
Jordy says
I think Avril is great.
I am sorry you like to tak any oppourtunity to spew unecessary negativity, but I guess that indicates the type of person you are.
Jordy says
I think Avril is great.
I am sorry you like to take any oppourtunity to spew unecessary negativity, but I guess that indicates the type of person you are.
tom says
Stuart Heritage:
Can’t you just be pleased that Avril has achieved such great worldwide success, together with a happy marriage?….a rare thing in the modern entertainment world.
Seniors For Avril
http://avril.rules.it/
chacha says
hi avril i love ur song xoxo
kelly says
hey i luv avril no matter what at least she has a happy marridge and a successful career and besides she is a great singer u guys r joluse and she have been good for a while did not do anything bad latly that means she going back on track.
xoxo kelly
Bec says
Avril obviously isn’t your idol, but she is mine. I know its wrong to give you shit just because you don’t like someone, but far out.
Why waste your time writing about someone you despise? Honestly, she ain’t that bad. I don’t see you out there with a mega successful career and a happy marriage.
Give her a break, she’s still young, at only 24 she acheived a hell of a lot more than what you obviously have. How would you feel if you were a young singer trying to get a big break and then it all falls down because of publicity? This is what this article is, publicity. Crap publicity, a mean critique.
Your not Avril, and you don’t know the truth.
Sarah says
Fuck guys!!!
avril is the best!
sara says
she is definitely not pregnant.
laura says
well tbqh, you’re just sad and pathetic and have nothing better to do with critising and using lame insults.
how old are you is what i’d like to know, cos you’re acting like a chavvy little 12 year old brat that has been spoilt by haid drugged up alcoholic abusive chavvy parents.
get a life or at least do something GOOD with it.