Remember when Mel Gibson was a Beaverless actor who wasn’t thought of as a racist, woman slapping basket case? Remember those days? Everyone liked him and he was the only famous Australian in the world.
Sadly for Mel, there’s loads of famous Australians who don’t terrify women and have buck-toothed rodents welded onto their arms now, leaving him looking pretty daft indeed.
And this is all thanks to his very public and incredibly messy split with Oksana Grigorieva. She’s so hurt by Gibbo’s fall from grace that she wants $500,000 for the trauma it has caused. Not her though. She’s fine. It’s the trauma caused to her 14-year-old son Sasha who everyone is mercilessly bullying thanks to being associated with two humans who give us all incredible amounts of ammunition, mercifully.
Naturally, like any divorce starring a wealthy human, there’s an incredibly expensive custody settlement being fought over, which involves the pair’s daughter Lucia. She’s a baby and hopefully doesn’t know that her parents are a tagteam of berks yet.
Oksana, who Gibson confessed to giving a right hander to, has made it pretty clear that she’ll need a lot of money to go away.
One of the reasons is that she’s claiming that Mel traumatised the boy during an impressively nasty fight in January, which ALLEGEDLY ended in violence. Oksana claims Gibson knocked two of her teeth out, while Mel says he slapped her because she was out of control and was endangering their baby.
It’s obvious that Gibson’s new partner – a plush Beaver – is responsible for the friction caused between the two, whispering sinister instructions into the actor’s ear, such as Gibson’s apparent wish for his ex wife to be “raped by a pack of niggers.”
Beaver experts have long stated that the tree chewing rat/table tennis bat hybrids are the most racist creatures on the planet.
Perhaps the beaver was responsible for Oksana’s claims that Gibbo was so horrifyingly abusive to Alexander that he would often hide under the bed, crying. Or indeed, the beaver could be behind the allegation that Mel once threw her son onto a table, quite possibly as a makeshift land-dam.
We should point out, so that lawyers with no sense of humour who may be sniffing around us (again), that Gibson has pleaded no-contest to a charge of battery against Oksana Grigorieva and is currently undergoing a year-long course in anger management and domestic violence counselling.
The beaver, meanwhile, is not, as they are not answerable to American law.
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d says
I don’t give a dam about Mel’s beaver, the ex beaver or the beaver on his yanking hand … which his mother warned him that would happen if he kept masturbating.