Preening, chemically enhanced music “supremo” Louis Walsh has spoken out about his decision to step down as?Boyzone’s manager, something that we didn’t even know had happened. Walsh, the man responsible for making the skin of young boys everywhere crawl to the point where it attempts to tear itself from the body of its host and choke itself.
Earlier this month, reports emerged that?Walsh had ditched the boyband because of disappointing ticket sales, brought about by the death of pop music, something that he is at least partly responsible for. The poor man’s Simon Cowell is said to believe that he missed a trick by refusing to manage Take That because he didn’t fancy Mark Owen enough to take the job.
Add to this lead singer?Ronan Keating’s recent revelation that he likes to put his knob about a bit and you have yourself a self-righteous, pompous TV personality trying to get himself some more personality by strategically dropping a relatively unpopular band that are still well-known at the beginning of the downward slope of their singing careers.
Walsh has argues, largely with himself because no-one else cares, that Boyzone cannot compete with their younger, more contemporary peers. Speaking to Heat Magazine:
“They’re like Blue – yesterday’s men, there’s too much competition for them.”
hecklerspray, while delighted at the cheap shot at Lee Ryan’s horrific shower of fecal matter, we cannot condone the suggestion that Louis Walsh knows anything about good music whether it be drivel-filled, manufactured pop or otherwise. He went on to say:
“You have to have something amazing as there’s so much talent out there – JLS, One Direction, Westlife, The Wanted.”
Rumours suggest that cracks between Walsh and Boyzone became wider following the death of group member Stephen Gately at the end of 2009. There are a number of jokes that can be placed here but we sometimes like to have you do the work yourselves.
“Boyzone can carry on but it wasn’t working. It was great while it lasted, but it’s time for me to move on.”
With that blessing from the least interesting man in music, how can Boyzone ever consider splitting up? They should keep going until Shane Duffy is eventually jailed for beating Aston from JLS to death in an alleyway. So far, they have no plans to split up but, just to be on the safe side, let’s all keep our fingers crossed, eh?