Kylie Minogue’s Sister Gets Replaced By Someone From N-Dubz On X Factor

We feel sorry for Dannii Minogue: she's never really had it as good as her older sibling. Kylie has been given all of the bigger, better and catchier pop hits, she looks better and oddly, Kylie has been given her own range of car adverts which don't make any sense. Perhaps Simon Cowell gave Dannii the X-Factor job out of pity. Or he lost a bet.

Even though the actual show hasn't started, X-Factor has bored us rigid already. Cowell has buggered off to launch it in America while Cheryl Cole finally was announced as judge after the American authorities turned a blind eye to her conviction of assault. Arguably, the shows two biggest judges have gone Stateside, leaving Kylie Minogue’s sister and Louise Walsh to crush the dreams of thousands.

Only problem is that says before filming starts, Kylie Minogue’s sister has left the show. Surely this couldn't be a PR stunt?

In theory, this leaves Louise Walsh left to judge solo, therefore guaranteeing that nearly all the Irish acts will get through. History will surely repeat itself this year as he gives us yet another rubbish act from his homeland. Just look at Jedward and the woman who worked in Tesco. Saying that though, we might have to stop being rude to Jedward seeing they finished higher than the UK in Saturdays Eurovision song contest. Though, it was only Blue they had to battle. Nobody decent.

So why has Kylie Minogue’s sister decided to quit the UK version of the X Factor? Is it down to visa issues? If that had been true, she could have hilariously been shipped off on a prison ship back to her native Australia, but sadly it couldn't be more from the truth. She said:

?During discussions for me to return it became clear that, unfortunately, the audition dates in the UK clash with my live shows of Australia?s Got Talent during June and July.?

Yup. we're thinking what you are. Somehow, Kylie Minogue’s sister has got herself work though we're not entirely sure what talent our Australian buddies have to offer. Can someone play the didgeridoo whilst on a BMX made out of lager? How about fitting in a kangaroos pouch while singing Especially For You? Or will someone recreate Michael Hutchence last moments on Earth with a sad clown face painted on their genitals?

Honest, we just don't know. Though they?ll probably be someone there proudly displaying his or her collection of knives like Crocodile Dundee.

Damn work commitments, what a pain in the arse, it means that we can't see a second rate pop star tell slightly worse singers than her that they?ll never make the pub circuit. So who's lined-up to replace her? Is it someone well known and loved across the world like erm?Britney Spears? Imagine the fun we?d have of potential mental breakdowns every week. Whilst we?d all love to see that, we never will. Instead, we're going to get Tulisa Contostavlos from N-Dubz.

Tulisa is from ghetto street band N-Dubz who sing gangster raps about stealing sweets from the corner shop and penning moody R&B ballads about dirtying their box-fresh trainers. Even though she has been confirmed a judge by various papers, no comment has been released yet. Perhaps she is trying to write down a sentence in her best handwriting.

People might argue that Tulisa won't connect with the X-Factor audience, but if the X-Factor production team want someone who?ll come across as a moron like half the people who audition, they've struck gold!

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