Are we about to enter a glorious period in human history where we actually find out who Kristen Stewart has been swapping bodily fluids with?! Even though we all assumed it was Robert Pattinson?!
HAVE YOU MANAGED TO STAY AWAKE?
For those now propping their eyelids up with matchsticks, you’ll be fizzing at the gusset to learn that Twilight Kristew (we still do this abbreviating thing don’t we?) has finally admitted something to us after years of being to dull to listen to! She’s FINALLY revealed: “My boyfriend is English.”
Oh god! We can barely take it!
See, despite the fact that everyone (well, anyone stupid enough to show the vaguest of interest in this criminally tedious duo) already assumes that they’re an item, there’s still some press interest on the whole official relationship status.
Hasn’t anyone checked their Facebook profiles?
Of course, to make them have a trace of interest (seriously, these two are as thrilling as mop buckets) Rob and Kristen have never admitted that they are more than just friends. We say they’ve never admitted anything, but they may have, but everyone keeps falling asleep in their presence.
However, one plucky scribes who works for esteemed tome, Glamour Magazine, managed to stay concious and capture Kristen saying:
“So much of my life is so easily Googled.”
?I mean, it's like, ?C?mon guys. It's so obvious.’ But this subject, I don't think you realise what a big deal it is for people. Well, it is a big deal. And right now, even me talking about it like this is a big deal. They would be, ?Oh. My. God.? There would also still be a 50/50 split. Some people would still be, ?See, told you they're not together.??
?I don't worry about it at all. It's just one of those things. I'm selfish. I'm like, ?That's mine!? And I like to keep whatever is mine remaining that way. It's a funny little game to play and it's a slippery slope. I always say to myself I'm never going to give anything away because there's never any point or benefit for me.?
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lydia little says
kristen stewart if you read this then pay attention good. you do not deserve robert for what you did. it is wrong to cheat on ur fiance. if i was him i would beat the hell out of u. but he wouldnt becausse hes a gentlemen. and rob if your reading this then you need take this advice. if she really loved you then she wouldnt have cheated on you. look you can do better then that. find another girl marry her and have kids with another woman. stay away from her. and kristen you used to be my favorite actor but now ur not your a piece of s****!