OK gang, the joke’s over. You’ve kicked Kate Gosselin off Dancing With The Stars, so you can stop now.
Everyone else can win. The moment we were all looking forward to – the moment when Kate Gosselin was reminded of what a catastrophic failure she was in front of the whole world – has been and gone. There’s really no need for Dancing With The Stars to carry on any more, is there? Just declare that everyone still in the competition is a winner and draw a dignified end to it. Nobody will care. Nobody will probably even realise.
No? You’re going to keep making new episodes of Dancing With The Stars? You’re going to carry on with this hollow charade, even if it means eliminating Jake Pavelka? Even though nobody actually knows who Jake Pavelka is? Oh, you’re a cruel one, Dancing With The Stars.
Jake Pavelka has a lot to be proud of this morning. He should be proud of the fact that that he took on a new challenge with Dancing With The Stars, and was moderately successful at it. He should be proud of the fact that he was deemed to be better than Dancing With The Stars contestants like Shannen Doherty and Buzz Aldrin and Kate Gosselin and some other bloke we’ve never heard of. And he should be proud of the fact that, thanks to Dancing With The Stars, his profile has never been higher.
Obviously Jake Pavelka could also realise that a) his new challenge involved wearing a spandex blouse and flailing about like a burning matador week after week, b) beating a woman who hasn’t been famous since 1992, an old man and the most hated woman in America isn’t much of an achievement and c) even though his profile has never been higher, nobody still knows who he is. But let’s give Jake Pavelka his moment of glory anyway. It’s not like we’ll remember it tomorrow, is it?
Anyway, Jake Pavelka used to be a pilot before becoming the star of the 14th season of The Bachelor, so he should know a thing or two about bravery and stoicism. So when he was voted off Dancing With The Stars last night, he obviously took it like a man. Like a big, manly man. Didn’t he, Access Hollywood?
?This is a lot harder than I thought it was gonna be to say goodbye,? Jake said? as he began to get choked up. ?I consider the judges, the cast, the crew ? family… Thank you so much Chelsie, you're one of my best friends,? he said, pausing as tears welled up in his eyes. ?I have loved every second of this. I love you. Thank you for being so great to my beautiful fiancee, Vienna. Thank you everybody for watching and keeping me in.?
That’ll be a no, then. Still, we shouldn’t trample on his touching moment on the spotlight. Congratulations Jake Pavlova, or Jake Parraca or Jack Pavella or whatever it is your name was. We’ve forgotten it already.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter
Carol Brandt says
Well, I for one voted for Jake every week. And, he is the only contestant on Dancing With the Stars that I ever voted for. He was good – and very enthusiastic. He put his heart into the dancing, which is not what can be said about Neecy – she puts her mouth out of joint all the time – and not too funny either. There must be a lot of heavy black women feeling sorry for themselves who are voting for her – because she cannot dance. And as for Pamela Anderson – she needs to have a boob reduction done – she does not have the personality or the looks or the dancing ability to last either. I think that is is a shame that Jake was voted off this week before these two idiots. And, I think he was even better than the broad with the long blonde hair who dances with Max – whoever she is. He had a bad rap with the step on Monday night – and his partner should have practiced more on stage so this could have been avoided. Good going Jake – and I will be a fan of your forever!!!!
longing says
OH I am so glad to to see jake finally dropped from DWTS. Hopefully now, his 15 minutes of fame are officially over!!
His inclusion in the series was an obvious ploy by ABC to continue the “drama” of the Bachelor….and to carry over “jakey” fans like Carol (the poster above).
Aside from the fact that he was the most ill chosen Bachelor contestant EVER ( note to Carol – he had a girlfriend and chose to dump her so he could be a “star” on TV ) – then – he chose “vienna the skank” as his bride to be! And once filming was over – spent time with his “ex” – promising her the would be together “soon”.
The man is a wanna be celebrity – who will do anything to be in the public spotlight….including living the charade of being engaged.
He cried when he was voted off DWTS – not because he wanted to be a better dancer and win. He was crying because he saw his “fame flame” being extinguished.
Now – all he has is his mundane existance as a pilot,and a fiancee who steals her husbands money to buy breast enlargements and pose nude on the internet.
And that is EXACTLY what he deserves….
Slime is slime no matter how well you think it can dance!