Only last week we discussed at some length who would make it into the greatest boyband ever.
It turned out to be the most startling line up imaginable, but also a bit sexist. Where were the girls? They were nowhere to be seen.
So, with that in mind we thought it best to compile the female version of a great boyband line up.
We trawled through all of the greatest girlbands and their hits, and these five astonishing women shone, even in extremely shiny company…
Posh Spice, The Spice Girls
Victoria Beckham was the driving force behind the Spice Girls, even though she was always happy to play second fiddle. In fact, that was exactly her role on nearly all of their songs – second fiddler. Unfortunately, most of their greatest hits had no real need for someone on the fiddle, so she would mime the chorus instead. She brings an essential squirt of glamour to this group.
Kimberley Walsh, Girls Aloud
For those very few readers who mightn’t be fans of Girls Aloud, Kimberley is the one who isn’t Cheryl Cole. Neither is she Sarah Harding, nor the strange Irish one, nor the unsmiling redhead. She’s the other one. The one with the voice that sounds like a child is horsing around with the lower keys of an old church organ. Her stand-out features include occasionally being mistaken for Cheryl Cole, and having a tiny-waist-plump-bottom combo happening.
Nicole Appleton, All Saints
Well, every band needs a front woman, and in this case it’s Nicole Appleton, who was by far the fourth most talented in All Saints. With her ballsy no-nonsense approach to fashion, she will inspire children all over the country to hoik their protruding guts over a set of combat trousers. An astonishing woman, she just edges out her sister, Natalie, who once touched a tree.
Sinead O’Carroll, B*Witched
Great news, B*Witched fans, Sinead made the fantasy band line-up. You remember Sinead – she was the blonde one who wore the denim. Not the twins. She was probably about thirty, even though the rest of the band were about twelve. Yeah, her. Probably the greatest backing vocalist in Irish girlband history. Not including The Corrs. Or anyone else.
Jenny Frost, Atomic Kitten
Now the host of Would, Wouldn’t, Kill Jenny was the perfect replacement for Kerry Katona in Atomic Kitten. Like Kerry, she brought a natural grace to proceedings, and a rare intellect to band interviews. And when she sang, it was like the sound of angels crying. And screaming a bit.
Like this? Of course you do. it’s excellent. It’s the work of Josh from that Interestment. Take a look, darnit.