Getting Britney Spears to take a court-enforced custody deposition lately has been a bit like trying to fit a big monkey up a flea's bumhole.
Time after time after time Britney Spears has missed her deposition appointment, or just turned up for a couple of minutes at a time, but yesterday Britney finally showed up at the offices of Kevin Federline's lawyer and spent two hours answering questions about her mostly confusing lifestyle.
Isn't it great when 'Britney Spears does something she's supposed to' becomes earth-shaking news?
That old saying about reaching rock bottom in order to change might be true, but God bless Britney Spears for comprehensively making sure that she'd completely hit the rockiest of bottoms before she got anywhere. Divorce? No, not quite rock bottomy enough for Britney Spears. Shaving off her hair in public and crying? Nope. Losing all contact with her children? No sirree. Stumbling around on TV badly miming a song in front of an audience of millions? Nuh-uh.
Locking herself topless in a bathroom in a hysterical state, possibly on drugs, with her child while her house is surrounded by the emergency services only to be stretchered off to hospital for brain tests that ended up with her losing all contact with her children again? Well, OK. Maybe.
There's a chance that that weird little episode may have woken Britney Spears up to her current precarious situation because – after months and months of pathetic no-shows and half-shows and not-even-close shows – yesterday saw Britney finally turning up for her long-awaited court-ordered custody deposition, where she spent two hours getting grilled about her drug habits and other aspects of her often bewildering lifestyle that may affect how much she'll get to see her children in the future.
And, according to E! Online, there wasn't a topless meltdown or an erroneous British accent in sight during Britney's deposition:
A source close to Federline described Spears as "cooperative" but declined to comment on the nature of her remarks. A source in the Spears camp said that Britney is "more relieved than upset" about today's proceedings. Meanwhile, speaking exclusively to E! News, Spears pal and Danish businessman Claus Hjelmbak… credited [manager Sam] Lutfi as a calming influence during her testimony. "Britney professionally and bravely attended her deposition with dignity and class. I'm absolutely thrilled to see how the world is is now opening its eyes and seeing the caring, wonderful person that she is and as someone who takes her responsibilities seriously."
Well now steady on Claus. Just because Britney showed up for one single meeting after several months of devout noncooperation doesn't mean that she's a wonderful person. It means she's an idiot who's been strong-armed into doing something out of fear that she'll never see her kids again.
But it's a start. It's thought that Britney Spears will show up for other depositions later in the week, too, which is an encouraging sign that she's starting to realise that she isn't above the law just because she wore a red plether catsuit in a music video once.
And that's good, because in less than a month, Britney Spears will have to go back to court to face another round of scheduled custody shenanigans, and it'd probably help her cause if she wasn't a dribbling maniac who's completely unaware of anything going on around her by then.
Of course, we wholeheartedly reserve the right to forget about all of this the instant that Britney Spears does something else mental, like pick a fight with a tree or go out dressed as one of the Moomins. Which, let's face it, will have probably already happened by the time you've finished reading this.
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