Michael Jackson’s corpse has had more action than Elvis and Tupac’s combined. Seriously. It’s been insanely busy. After starring in one of the most weird send-offs in history, sat beneath a silver platter being sung at by Smokey Robinson, it went on to release a DVD and try and break-up a massive fight and numerous lawsuits between various family members.
Now it will have to prove how virile it was when it was an all-singing and dancing livin’ thing.
That’s because Michael Jackson’s former bodyguard has claimed that he acted as a sperm donor for Jackson and that, probably, he’s the father of Blanket.
So who is this bloke then?
Well, he’s a chap called Matt Fiddes and he’s a martial arts expert. Now, we can’t confirm whether he’s the kind of martial arts expert who could kick your head clean off your body, or whether he’s an academic in the field who knows everything there is to know about kung-fu or whatever, while possessing a punch weaker than a kitten’s yawn… but y’know, he’s an expert, okay?
In what sounds awfully like clumsy genetic engineering, Fiddes has said that he agreed to wank into his cupped hand and then paw it into a turkey baster in the freezer for a bit (or whatever it is you) to help Jackson in 2001 after he told him he wanted an “athletic” child.
But Fiddes is all heart isn’t he? Jackson offered him ?500,000 for his sexy broth, but being the kindest human in history, the karate man turned it down and donated it for free. Presumably because he really likes a good ol’ wank. And then waiting a few years for Jackson to die and then making the money back on selling a spurious story to tabloids.
Anyway, the following year Blanket was born and Matt says he was told the baby was his by former child actor Mark Lester. Lester, of course, is yet another rumoured sperm donor who thinks he’s the father of Jackson’s daughter Paris.
Fiddes said:
“Michael never told me himself that Blanket is my son but he took my sperm and the child is the spitting image of me.
“He told me he wanted an athletic child and that is what he has got. I don’t want Blanket thinking I am telling everyone he is definitely my son because I’m not sure.
“I don’t want anything from the estate or their money. Katherine Jackson has already denied me the right to see Blanket but if she were to die I would be straight over there.
“If that happened me and Mark have a pact – we would get a legal team and ask for DNA tests and look into getting access, or even bring thing them back here in our custody.”
Imagine the disappointment of being the son of one of the most famous humans in the history of every human ever born, only be told years later that you’re actually going to have to live with a judo bloke from Devon who has a rubbish ponytail.
Imagine that.
Worse news is that hecklerspray are now revealing, for the first time to anyone ever, that we’re the father of the other kid ‘Prince’. Yep. He’s definitely ours. An as-yet-unnamed ‘spray writer was, as usual, indulging in pleasures of the palm and left a disgusting deposit on a park bench. That deposit was hoovered up by Michael Jackson who ran away laughing like a murderous Victorian butcher and… whaddayaknow? A baby was born which is definitely, definitely ours.
You just watch.
MJCentral says
This post has a lot of information. But so much for the issues. Let’s just pray for the soul of our beloved King of POP Michael Jackson.
kite says
LOL his whole interview is hilarious. He says he was infertile which was why MJ wanted his sperm for half a million – get your head around that! MJ so desperate for ugly white sperm he’d pay for some half assed ones.
He says he’d make no claims on the child if Katherine dies – then says he and Mark Lester have a douchebag alliance to bring the kid back to the UK if it is his.
He says Michael dressed him up in a karate outfit with a ponytail for fun… except MJ was dead at the time.
Then there are his comparison photos he released himself to the media after his interview saying he was “angered” that the media had involved themselves with him. Except they didn’t, he got his PR people to arrange interviews where he’d break the story.
Too many crazies…
lorlor Simms says
This is a lie – how ironic that the truth on a google search is revealed via Matt Fideles in another interview that comes before this one. We didn’t learn a thing from Michael’s life with regards to medialoid gossip trash. Leave this man’s life & death alone. I know it’s fun to judge people because it creates titillating gossip but please – is that as empty as your life will be.
Jayla says
OMG….you are so right! And NO, I won’t “DIGG” this. If it hurts someone, you will be sure to make it into what you deem to be a story.
Bonnie says
These are Michael’s children. Even if there is a sperm or egg doner, they relinquish any parental rights upon donation. They were born Michael’s children, they will always be Michael’s children. A parent is the person who was there when you had a nightmare, fell, made a painting, wrote a story or was just there. Sperm and egg doners don’t make a parent. I wonder if the children were left penniless would these supposed ‘parents’ be making all these claims.
Michael’s children will remain Michael’s children. Michael was the father of three children. Nothing else is relevant.