For a long time now, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart have hands-down been our favourite celebrity couple.
We love everything about them. We love the way that Harrison Ford is clearly old enough to be Calista Flockhart’s dad. We love the way that Harrison Ford has taken to wearing an earring to compensate for that. We love that Calista Flockhart’s Ally McBeal was written by Michelle Pfeiffer‘s husband, and the character was loosely based on Michelle Pfeiffer and Harrison Ford played Michelle Pfeiffer’s husband in a film once and that sort of makes it all a bit creepy.
So we’re thrilled that Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart have finally decided to get married. Well, maybe not thrilled. We’re happy. No, maybe not that either. We’re aware that Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart have finally decided to get married. There, that’ll do.
You might not know this, but Calista Flockhart is now Harrison Ford’s third wife. And may we be the first to suggest that Harrison Ford leaves it at three. Three’s a lovely number. A perfect trilogy. You can tie it all up in three marriages. Move onto the fourth, and that’s where the trouble starts. It doesn’t matter how many people urge you to get married again, or what the financial incentives are. You should definitely not even consider going back for a fourth marriage, Harrison Ford.
Chances are that Shia LaBeouf will probably end up being your son, and there’ll be all sorts of giant ants and weird mind-reading aliens running around and Cate Blanchett won’t be as sexy as you thought and you’ll constantly be fighting the urge to shield yourself from nuclear blasts by hiding in fridges.
It’s a terrible idea, Harrison. Stick with three.
Anyway, Harrison Ford got married to Calista Flockhart yesterday. That was our original point, wasn’t it? ABC News reports:
Actors Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart have finally said “I do,” marrying in a ceremony at the governor’s mansion in the U.S. state of New Mexico, according to media reports on Wednesday. The couple’s representative confirmed that Ford, 67, tied the knot with 45-year-old Flockhart in Santa Fe on Tuesday. The ceremony was conducted by Governor Bill Richardson.
As lovely as this news is, it does leave a bit of a vacuum. Now that Harrison Ford is no longer the world’s sexiest 67-year-old bachelor, who’s going to take his place? That crazy old man from down the road who spends his afternoons chasing the children around with a garden rake in just a tatty old vest, now’s your time to step up.
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Davis says
Do you really make a living writing this drivel?
dickiedaviseyes says
I’d clean forgotten about these two until now but now I am remembering them and I am remembering quite how shite Ally McBeal actually was.
Joseph says
I agree with Davis. I sincerely hope that no one actually pays you to write this infantile tripe.
Scott says
and you read it because…?
(I found it amusing, Stuart)
Frank says
I LOVE this website. Eff all you haters!