Hello there reader. By any chance do you happen to be an egg chaser? What's that? You are! How bloody excellent, you probably fit into the 9% of the population who can name more than one rugby player who isn't Johnny Wilkinson or Gavin Henson. The only time the country cares about rugby is when the national team is about to win something and ironically the sport has better achievement rates than football.
But then again, fans of football look down on rugby lovers as they see it as inferior sport. Probably how doctors secretly mock vets for not being good enough to operate on humans.
These days, the only real household name associated with That Stupid Sport is Gavin Henson. He was once married to opera singer turned pop princess Charlotte Church. Unfortunately, the couple didn't last and soon split. So what's the best method to find a new partner? Seek the advice of friends of family? Or make a tit of yourself on a copied version of an American TV show? You can see where this is going can’t you?
If you clicked the jump to find out the answer, then you\’ll probably be disappointed. Gavin Henson won't be asking his mum what shirt goes well with stone washed denim jeans when it comes to impressing a girl down the local disco. After all, he is a D-list celebrity and is now hell-bent on finding any grain of work after having to put up with Charlotte Church for however long they were together.
we're not sure what attracted Henson and Church to each other. They?re both from Wales, so could it be that some sort of law that stops breeding with other nations so the national accent can't be lost? Charlotte was once an angelic church singer who gave performances for presidents and other world leaders. Then she got older and discovered the joys of the pub. Presumably, a more grown up Charlotte wanted to venture in to pastures new and decided to sing pop songs. This worked for a while, and then her career collapsed like an old lung.
This left poor Gavin looking for something else to keep his weird face in the spotlight. Step forward, reality TV!
For anyone unfamiliar with The Bachelor, it's basically an American dating show where Gavin Henson looks to pick the right girl. Hilariously, there are 25 of the critters to pick from, so expect crying, bitching and fights as all the ladies backstab and scheme in order to get their man who they love and are not solely going after then for fame, money or a spread in Zoo Magazine.
For anyone that's seen A Shot Of Love With Tila Tequila, the show will be like that, just without the lesbians. Though somebody might be persuaded by a producer to indulge in some lesbian experimentation, after all the show is being broadcast on Channel 5. No doubt the program will be billed as ?edgy?, ?exciting? and ?fast paced.? In reality, we?ll gain more pleasure from whipping our genitals with barbed wire.
In case you care, Henson lied through his veneered teeth:
“I’m so excited to have been cast as The Bachelor as I really feel the time is right for me to find a girl to hopefully spend the rest of my life with. I’ve always been dedicated to my rugby and continue to train hard but as the season draws to an end I can focus on meeting the right girl. It can be hard in my situation to meet women and The Bachelor will give me the unique opportunity to go on some incredible dates and spend quality time getting to know amazing women from all over the UK.”
We?ll give any romance that blossoms from this grim program around two weeks before it wilts and dies. Unfortunately, it'll also mean an eruption of Charlotte Church quotes as she slags off Gavin Henson for doing this project and She'll no doubt call the chosen girl an ugly munter and complain that she isn't as pretty as her.
We don't know when this arrives to Channel 5. And we don't care, so tough.
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