There's a constant battle in America between the FCC – which believes that you go to hell as soon as you see a nude body, even your own – and the titty-loving TV networks.
And the latest scrap to break out is between the FCC and Fox. You see, half a decade ago, Fox showed some digitally-obscured boobs on a barely-remembered reality TV show and the FCC has just decided to fine it $91,000 for doing so. However, Fox is refusing to pay the fine, calling it "arbitrary and capricious, inconsistent with precedent, and patently unconstitutional."
By doing so, Fox has kick-started a hard-fought ideological debate about morals, indecency, ethics, free speech and censorship that could change the shape of American broadcasting forever. Plus it's about boobies. Wheeeee!
We're no experts, but we think that Americans have the right to freedom of religion, the right to bear arms and the right to sit around masturbating to digitally-obscured breasts until they either a) get cramp or b) realise what they've become and stop in an angry fit of self-loathing. And that's a God-given right that the FCC has been trying to take away from them.
If the FCC had its way then the average American wouldn't be able to masturbate to a sudden glimpse of a 1990s pop star's partially-covered breast or brief shots of naked buttocks or Diane Keaton swearing on live TV. The first two are OK, but the last one is a step too far – show us a man who doesn't find saggy-faced 62-year-olds screeching the word 'fuck' at Diane Sawyer completely erotic and we'll show you a liar – which is why Fox is staging a fightback.
Back in 2003, Fox broadcast an episode of reality show Married By America that showed some digitally-obscured strippers and a woman licking whipped cream off a man's nipple. Enraged that Fox was basically sending everyone who watched it to hell for eternity – a place which, ironically, shows nothing by Married By America reruns all day – the FCC hit Fox with a $1.2 million fine.
After four years of appeals the fine was reduced to just $91,000, but now Fox has decided that it won't pay that either. The Washington Post reports:
Despite the sharp reduction, Fox said it would not pay the fine on principle, calling it "arbitrary and capricious, inconsistent with precedent, and patently unconstitutional" in a statement released yesterday… Fox has asked the five FCC commissioners to reconsider the fine without its having to pay, a move that sets Fox in a two-front indecency war: It is battling the FCC at the agency level on the "Married" fine and in the Supreme Court on other indecency fines levied at about the same time.
Part of the reason why Fox is refusing to pay the fine is apparently because of the nature of the complaints that the FCC received over Married By America. Although it received 90 complaints, they were from only 23 people. And all but two of the complaints were virtually identical, meaning that the fine had basically come from three people who were angry at a pixelised tit.
If this is true, then there's a strong argument for Fox to fight the FCC fine. The FCC's war on indecency is wrongheaded at best and dangerous at worst – it can let entire seasons of 24 pass without blinking once at all the relentless scenes of violent torture pass, but as soon as a digitally-obscured stripper covered in whipped cream flits into view for a couple of seconds, fines get thrown about like nobody's business. The FCC really has no right to enforce such heavyhanded censorship in a modern society.
Unless the FCC is just protecting us from Heather Mills. After all, if we're talking cream-covered strippers then Heather Mills is pretty much the queen of that (NSFW), and the FCC needs to make sure that she's never allowed to commit such terrible atrocities again. Keep up the great work, chaps!
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The Dread Pirate Sausage says
FOX is also somehow owned by the Bush Family and is known for perpetuating negative stereotypes. FOX is representative of so many other evils it’s funny anyone should care. I’d like to see the FCC drive by FOX’s house, pull him out in his jammies and beat his narrow ass like a red-headed stepchild in the middle of the street.