To the naked eye, Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are the perfect couple, in that while they're together they can't go round making slurring pikey babies with anyone else.
But there might be trouble in paradise – according to Amy Winehouse's father, Blake has a habit of screaming things like "I want a divorce" at Amy Winehouse during arguments and now their marriage is dangerously on the rocks.
Let's hope they're just rumours, though, because watching Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil squabble for custody of a tatty trilby, a beehive wig that smells of gutters and enough drugs to down a herd of elephants would be quite traumatic for us.
Look at most married couples you know. What's the hardest thing most of them have been through? That time their toddler drew on the wallpaper with a marker pen? That time the husband couldn't stop staring at a waitress' arse on their anniversary dinner? Pah.
Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil have been through way more than that together – they've endured near-fatal drug overdoses, public fights, arrests for perverting the course of justice, failed tours and – most gravely of all – the fact that neither one of them looks capable of stringing even a rudimentary sentence together.
But most recently it's emerged that the marriage between Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil is under more pressure than ever. While Blake is banged up pending his court case, Amy Winehouse has been seen out and about with an old ex-boyfriend, her producer Mark Ronson and Pete Doherty.
While it's thought that Blake is OK with Amy seeing Pete – because, really, what is Pete Doherty if not a Blake Fielder-Civil clone carved out of a month-old potato? – the thought of his wife spending time with other men has been sending him crazy; so much so that Amy's dad claims he's asked for a divorce. Now reports:
Amy Winehouse's hubby Blake Fielder-Civil has asked her for a divorce. The singer's dad Mitch claims his son-in-law said he was ready to call it a day during a recent spat with Amy. 'Blake threatened to issue divorce proceedings when they were having a row,' he says… 'From Amy's point of view, she would stick by him not matter what. But he has said things like, “I want a divorce”.'
Now, having seen most episodes of Birds Of A Feather, we've witnessed for ourselves the stress that gets put on a marriage when one half of the couple is in jail, so these divorce rumours don't come as a surprise. What Amy Winehouse desperately needs to do is to move next door to a middle-aged Jewish slapper to provide the occasional moment of comic relief in her otherwise bleak life. That's something else we learnt from Birds Of A Feather.
But are Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil really going to divorce? Hardly – it seems clear that Amy Winehouse is smitten on her ratty, dirty-looking husband and, besides, if Amy and Blake divorce then who's going to violently attack all those 13,000 audience members that she angrily threatened back in November?
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Jay says
haha pete a clone of that twat other way round more like how long has pete been on the scene to you media twats ha love it pull your head out your arse and realise the “celeb” culture isnt in the timeline that you realise what is important
JaysGay says
Who gives a flying sh1t which one cloned the other? They’re both a couple of posh congenitally retarded fookwits. Oh, you do, cos you’re fanboy of one of the monumental losers.