Phat and Small.
Folded:
- Terminator Salvation (worse than hoped, better than expected)
- Farmers (about the only people doing great during this recession. Why? Because of the weak pound we have to buy our produce over here, that's why)
- Outrun Online Arcade, downloadable for PSN and Xbox LIVE (more fun than cheating at your exams)
- We Are the People by Empire of the Sun (calming in a really cool, just drunk kind of way)
- Moon Bloodgood (see Terminator Salvation. Wow…just WOW)
Creased:
- Bank holiday drinkers (why not drink on the Sunday instead? You have Monday off, not Tuesday. Cretins)
- Printers (if they're not spewing out blank paper, they're claiming the new black ink cartridge you just bought a week ago is ?empty?. Smash ?em all)
- Let’s Get Excited by Alesha (let's listen to the biggest album track of all time)
- A new, pre-loaded with 15 games Sega Mega Drive for ?40 (apparently it’s as tough as Styrofoam. Just buy an original for ten quid off eBay)
- Wheelchair woes (consider yourself blessed if you never need one. Shoppers will dive out of the way for a chav kid in pushchair, but curse with scorn those have don't have the ability to use their legs)