Celebrity death spreads like wildfire. As soon as someone as much as wonders if a famous person has died, American gossip websites leap into action with grainy photographs of random corpses. The latest, Bill Cosby.
Now, the man who is still the posterboy for dodgy knitted jumpers has been accused of being dead four times in recent years, consistently failing to be actually deceased. This latest death defying act was shouted on his Twitter account when he came out to tell everyone that he was alive.
He even appeared on the Larry King show last night to further underline his aliveness.
Of course, the tricky thing about this article is that he may well have died since he appeared on the show or last tweeted, but either way, Bill is pissed off that people keep insisting that he’s dead.
Yesterday morning, ‘Bill Cosby died’ was top of the trending topics which led to Cosby tweeting: ?Again, I’m rebuttaling rumours about my demise?.
Back in February, Cosby wrote: “As you well know, a dead person cannot rebuttal… Therefore, I am rebuttaling to tell you that when I heard the news I immediately began rebuttaling and went into denial.? Admitting that ?rebuttal? is not a proper word, he added: “I don't care, because I'm alive!”
Appearing on Larry King Live last night, Cosby said that dying wasn?t as fun as it used to be.
He then went on to complain about how much hurt this had caused to his relatives, with his daughter being prompted to phoning him up to make sure he was OK.
Yesterday he tweeted: “Emotional friends have called about this misinformation. To the people behind the foolishness, I'm not sure you see how upsetting this is.”
So, just to be on the safe side, we salute Bill Cosby for being both alive and dead. He’s the funniest, most influential zombie on the planet and, if it isn’t too much trouble, could he do that funny dance he used to bust-out on the Cosby Show?
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter