Isn’t it weird, one minute you want her out – the next you want her back? Suddenly, without Alex, everyone is getting on. Rubbish!
At 12.40 this morning, everyone bar Mr & Mrs Boring Old Fart, were sitting at the kitchen table talking about their families.
They were playing a guess-the-amount-of-siblings game, which made paint drying an interesting prospect.
And Mohamed’s insistence on recreating the Family Fortunes wrong-answer buzzer was as annoying as Teletubby Kat’s constant mystified look.
Then they ramped the game up. “Where do we all live,” someone piped up. And it turns out Mikey lives live 30 miles from Glasgow, while Rachel is from somewhere in Wales.
Remarkably, this being a live feed, Big Brother played the birds and the planes when their real hometowns were pinpointed.
Good God, why? Are we all going to go out and track down their friends and families, camp outside their houses and make proper nuisances of ourselves? Oh, and it turns out Kat drives (imagine that!) and Dale failed his theory three times.
Funny that! Yep. Come back Alex, most is forgiven. Without you this show has turned into some kind of love-fest. And we don’t even have an eviction to look forward to tonight.
Mario – oh God, how I wish he would go – gets to stay another week, and Paddy Power now reckons he’s a 66-1 chance to win the thing. That’s hilarious. But maybe, just maybe, the fact he was up for eviction in the first place has focused his mind.
He certainly didn’t expect it. Maybe he’s changing his gameplan. Bed early from now on and keep out of the limelight. Luke is slowly becoming the one to watch anyway. He makes me laugh every time he opens his mouth.
If it’s not his accent, or his flirtation with busty Becky, it’s his ever-so-camp observations. Could Luke – who isn’t gay, apparently – out-gay dancing queen Dennis? Surely not.
Oh, Mohamed. After surviving those dressings down from Alex, you must be able to think of something better to discuss that the colour of housemates’ mobile phones. Hang on a minute, the birds are back, someone must have mentioned a make. I think it’s time for bed. Someone needs to move into Alex’s shoes soon, surely.
My money’s on Dennis, who Paddy Power are offering odds of 80-1 to win. That’s a good bet if he starts to stir things up again. C’mon, Dennis, strut your stuff and make it messy. Us BB fans are banking on you.
Ooh, and Becky hates bellybuttons. And Kat hates negativity. And Mohamed hates bullies. Surprise, surprise.
And according to Becky, Dennis hates breasts apparently. Chortle, chortle. (Weirdo)
Night! Night!
By Richard Hughes