The good news is that the striking writers aren't going to picket the Grammy awards this year, meaning that the show can go on as normal – no, wait, is that the good or the bad news?
Because now that the writers won't be picketing, we'll all be free to witness the arse-numbing, life-sapping 52-hour marathon of back-slapping, lecturing and ill-thought-out musical collaborations that the Grammys have all but copyrighted.
And one of those ill-thought-out musical collaborations will be a frankly terrifying-sounding duet between Beyonce and Tina Turner. Hold us.
The writers' strike has made a mockery of many of the things we love – like 24 and The Daily Show. It has also made a mockery of many of the things we don't particularly care about but are contractually obliged to professionally follow – like the Golden Globes and potentially the Oscars.
So it stands to reason that the writers' strike should also make a mockery of stuff we honestly can't bloody stand, like the Grammys. But nooo, apparently the Grammys are going to get off scot-free. Brilliant.
The Grammys are terrible for so many different reasons – but mostly because of the way they routinely throw random groups of musicians together to create 'happenings' that are generally as sonically appealing as listening to a distressed newborn baby jamming a vinegar-soaked javelin through a kitten's eye again and again.
Like the Sly And The Family Stone reunion at the 2006 Grammys where Steven Tyler was so busy like an idiot that nobody noticed that Sly Stone was making his first public appearance for 19 years in the background. Or the 2005 all-star rendition of Across The Universe that was so bad that it was basically a direct insult to the people of Sri Lanka.
And this year, to try and reach those insanely high peaks of dreadful taste, the Grammys will feature a duet between Beyonce and Tina Turner. People reports:
Beyonce Knowles will join forces with the legendary Tina Turner for a performance at the Feb. 10 Grammy Awards, a source close to the show confirms to PEOPLE. News of the A-list duet comes just one day after the Writers Guild of America announced it will not picket the awards show – clearing the way for stars to attend the Los Angeles ceremony.
Perfect, a Beyonce/ Tina Turner duet is just what we've been waiting for – given the age difference and Beyonce's fondness for ripping off every single thing that Tina Turner did, chances are the performance is going to end up looking like one of those before and after posters for crystal meth addiction.
But maybe we're wrong. Maybe Beyonce and Tina Turner will pull something truly memorable out of the bag – like if Beyonce continues her trend of badly injuring herself onstage by falling off a 30-foot balcony onto her chin while Tina Turner suffers an attack of stagefright from being semi-retired for close to a decade and hallucinates that Ike Turner's ghost is chasing after her with a slice of cake until she wets herself and shorts out all the electricity to the venue.
Alternatively Beyonce could just wail like a panicking tightrope-walker while Tina Turner sings Steamy Windows just like she did with Purple Rain when she duetted with Prince at the 2004 Grammys. We can't possibly imagine which one it'll be.
Read more:
Undefined says
I love yall style
michele says
You are an IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!