Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
Bad news everybody – we’re all going to die. And we don’t mean eventually – after a full life of spouses, babies and well deserved retirement parties. We mean we’re all gonna burn soon – in a religious ultimatum sort of way. That’s because the fourth horseman of the apocalypse has been captured on film prancing around Egypt.
Sure, sure, we all know how the Egypt story ended – the Israelis escaped. Several thousands of years later it all hit the fan – and pharaoh is totally screwed again. He got forced out of office after billions of mutinous citizens voiced their opinions with rocks and car-flipping back muscles.
In the middle of all the commotion something was caught on camera. That something was Death – the fourth horseman of the apocalypse. Not familiar with the four horsemen? As Wikipedia lays it out:
“The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are described in the last book of the New Testament of the Bible, called the Book of Revelation of Saint John the Evangelist at 6:1-8. The chapter tells of a scroll in God’s right hand that is sealed with seven seals. Jesus Christ opens the first four of the seven seals, which summons forth the four beasts that ride on white, red, black, and pale horses which each symbolize Conquest, War, Famine and Death, respectively. The Christian apocalyptic vision is that the four horsemen are to set a divine apocalypse upon the world as harbingers of the Last Judgment.”
Like we already said – the thing is on video. As you watch it you’ll see the beast is green as opposed to pale. This will probably make you feel a little better about not being incinerated by flames from heaven in the near future. Well, to that we have another Wikipedia quote:
“The color of Death’s horse is written as khl?ros in the original Koine Greek, which is often translated as “pale”, though “ashen”, “pale green” and “yellowish green” are other possible interpretations. The color suggests the sickly pallor of a corpse.”
And now – watch the video. But you should probably stretch first – so you don’t pull anything as you curl into the fetal position. FYI – the ghastly horse jockey shows up at 1:18. It looks more horsemanly as the timer ticks:
John McNally says
That was great. I wish I was a believer, because I would be heading for my fall-out shelter right now.
The horseman appeared a little too green on my screen. I’ve only ever seen one corpse and he was nowhere near that colour.
I wonder what it was? Ruling out the horseman of course.
John
Wondering in Leamington Spa, England
Larry Lindbeth says
If I didn’t know that was the 4th horseman, I’d say it was a smudge on the camera lens. Nevertheless, I have recovered the arsenal of weapons that I had secretly buried at an undisclosed location. It’s time to take on Gog and Magog. Shawn are you with me?…because if you’re not with me you’re against me.
Cookie Monster says
Christ allforgivinghelpmenowpuppet Jesus, it’s Kermit’s ghost – I’d recognize that “Yaaaaaaaay” anwhere. He’s coming for me, I know it. Larry, load-up the tank, we are going to need it.