Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
Southern Fried Bigfoot is a sasquatch documentary, and although it doesn’t contain a single delicious apeman recipe, it does contain a few bigfoot tidbits that we’d never ever heard before. For instance – did you know these animals are said to defecate out their mouths? That’s not true, actually.? But on the next page we’ll tell you some SFB-info that’s supposed to be.
Over the years we’ve noticed that sasquatch footprints fall into two categories – those with five toes and those with less than five toes. This we’ve often thought to be a weakness in some encounter-stories that might be fabricated. Southern Fried Bigfoot, however, has been kind enough to toss a reasonable explanation in the mix.
First of all – prints found in the American Pacific north-west always have five toes – its the ones found in the south that have only three or four. Still – if ol’ BF exists at all the prints found in both locals should look the same, right? Then why don’t they? Inbreeding. That’s right, inbreeding. Although we could toss in countless southern ‘when in rome’ jokes right about here we’ll simply state that apparently due to a smaller population, the hairy behemoths have been forced to turn to their cousins for sexual delights. Or their sisters. Or their moms.
It’s disgusting, really.
The next thing we took away from Southern Fried Bigfoot was a list of monster-legends that we hadn’t previously heard of. Sure, they mentioned the Lake Worth Monster and the Honey Island Swamp Monster, both of which we’ve kept you all too informed on in the past. But there were others brought to our attention. Sweet mother of Moses, were there ever.
Here are two pulled from Southernfriedbigfoot.com:
The Fouke Monster:
The hairy creature that has been sighted around Fouke, Arkansas for decades and was the inspiration for the cult classic film “The Legend of Boggy Creek.”The Skunk Ape:
The foul-smelling creature that is said to haunt the Everglades in Florida.
The Skunk Ape, as we’ve always understood it – is kind of a generic term for the creature like ‘Bigfoot.’ The Fouke Monster, on the other hand, is a legend about a particular creature. Wikipedia will expand a touch:
The Fouke Monster is a legendary cryptid reported near the town of Fouke in Miller County, Arkansas during the early 1970s, where it was accused of attacking a local family. Initial sightings of the creature were concentrated in the Jonesville/Boggy Creek area, where it was blamed for the death of local livestock. Later, sightings were made several hundred miles to the north and the east of Fouke.
Southern Fried Sasquatch is a pretty good watch. You curious to see it? Well lucky for you if you have the Documentary Channel you can:
Tues??? June 16, 2009??? 9:00 PM EST/8:00 PM CST (encore at 12 E/11 C)
Fri??? June 26, 2009??? 3:00 PM EST/2:00 PM CST
bill green ct sasquatch researcher says
hey everyone this very humerous interesting new article about southern fried bigfoot documetary which is AWESOME etc. good afternoon bill green connecticut–new england sasquatch researcher bristol,ct usa
Jesus Christ says
The film that Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin made in 1967 in Northern California at Bluff Creek of Bigfoot was real. Here is what they filmed on October/20/1967. Long before Jesus was born there were thousands of slaves that ran off around the world and started their own countries. When these slaves ran off there was a large group of men and boys of all different ages and sizes that took off and ended up in Africa. Some of them were giants as tall as 9 ft. or even taller. The giant named Goliath that David killed with his slingshot was 9 ft. tall. So there were giant men back in those days.
Some of these men and boys went exploring to Borneo and caught female Orangutans and took them to South America and had sex with them and created the Indians. The men and boys that stayed in Africa caught female Gorillas and had sex with them and created the Blacks. When scientists found the bones in Africa they thought we evolved from a female Chimpanzee. But it wasn’t a natural evolution it was a man made evolution. That’s where all the Bigfoot and Orangutan Man creatures come from. They are half man and half Gorilla and half man and half Orangutan. They use to call the Indians the red man. The Orangutan has reddish hair. When those men bred out the hair the Indian’s skin remained red. The Gorilla has black hair and skin. When those men bred out the hair the Black man’s skin remained black. Some of the Indians and Blacks are tall. And some of the Bigfoot and Orangutan Man creatures are tall. They are tall because some of the men that created them were tall. Some scientists believe that we evolved from a female Chimpanzee. Have you ever seen and 8 ft. tall Chimpanzee? I haven’t either. Bigfoot migrated up through Africa and came into the United States at the top of Africa when they were connected by land. The Orangutan Man creatures migrated up through Central America and came into the United States like the Indians did. The creature that Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin filmed in 1967 was half man and half Gorilla. It was a female Bigfoot that they named Patty. Patty was not a man in a costume, she is not our missing link and she is not a figment of our imagination. Patty was a creature that was created by men that had sex with female Gorillas and Orangutans a long time ago. Somebody please contact Loren Coleman and tell him what the hell it is that he is looking for. He won’t listen to me. Jesus