For a really long time I thought they only gave out Oscars for film work, but this weekend I was proven wrong.?This past Saturday night, Angelina Jolie received an honorary Oscar for her humanitarian work at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences? Governors Awards in Hollywood.
Brad Pitt showed up with a haircut that made him look bangable again, Maddox showed up in a tux looking like the awkward pre-teen he is which made me feel old as hell, and Angelina showed up (surprise surprise) in all black looking as emaciated as ever. I love me some Angelina Jolie, but remember when she was really sexy and not skeletal? You know, back when they gave her Oscars and not just being Angelina Jolie? Happier times. Simpler times.
When I was 11 I saw a picture of Angelina Jolie in People‘s 50 Most Beautiful issue and thought she was the most beautiful human being to ever grace this planet. I collected pictures of her for years and obsessed over her like a weird creepy stalker and would verbally accost anyone who said that Brad Pitt was a fool to leave Jennifer Aniston for her (a sentiment I still agree with), but I feel like over the past few years she’s lost a lot of that Angelina Jolie magic…and about 30 pounds.
Gone are her sexy bad girl days, which I get, she’s a mom and a hardcore humanitarian and that’s great. She does really great things for a lot of people, but I didn’t realize they gave out Oscars for that shit. I mean, good for her, I guess? But, I’m just wondering how she’s going to explain the second Oscar to people. I imagine the conversations going like this:
Random Person: Oh, you have two Oscars! What did you get them for?
Angelina Jolie: Well, this one I won playing the Best Supporting Actress in Girl, Interrupted. ?And this one here I got for doing a lot of stuff with the UN.
RP: Is that a movie?
AJ: No.
RP: Is the UN a production company?
AJ: Nope.
RP: And it has nothing to do with a movie or the film industry at all?
AJ: Not one bit.
RP: …
This whole thing also makes me feel kind of bad for Brad Pitt. I mean, he’s been working his ass off in the film industry for years, has made a ton of great films, and has zero Oscars. Angelina Jolie made a couple of decent movies and has TWO. And one of them is genuinely just for being a good person! What the hell?! And you know Angelina was humble as fuck accepting this thing. I can just imagine her “it ain’t not thang” face right now:?
I guess she could always be really nice and let Brad play with one of her Oscars sometimes. After all, she is an award winning humanitarian.