Zooey Deschanel is the Prom Queen of the Hipster Ball. She can kinda sing, kinda act and is generally kinda good-looking and kinda nice. Perfect for the hipsters as she never quite looks like she’s really trying.
However, Zooey is quite obviously a giganto-ghoul.
Why? Mainly because she doesn’t believe in the sanctity of marriage and is getting divorced from her husband – Some Guy – which will absolutely anger God so much that he’ll probably ensure any children she has in the future will all have hunchbacks.
Zooey, not quite a proper zoo, has filed for divorce in Los Angeles on December 27th (lovely Christmas present, eh?) from Ben Gibbard, citing irreconcilable differences.
So what could’ve caused this split? Maybe Deschanel didn’t like the fact her soon-to-be-ex-husband saw a series of Zooey’s new show, New Girl, and vomited with fury, demanding to know why such a terrible, terrible thing could ever be commissioned by a television station?
Or, maybe the pair didn’t get along because Zooey had a successful music career while Gibbard was in the tremendously bland Death Cab For Cutie?
Sadly, the couple don’t have any children to make this whole situation more fraught for us prying imbeciles. Worse still is that Deschanel’s publicist has said that the couple’s split was “amicable.”
That said, all this paves the way for Zooey to start actually having sex with Joseph Gordon Levitt because that’s all anyone ever wanted after seeing that stupid film they were in together.