Zac Efron’s Beautiful Face Was Bruised By A Homeless Mob

Zac EfronZac Efron has had it rough the last year or so.  He struggled with a drug problem, went to rehab a few times, still hasn’t become a legitimate actor.  When the world found out he banged Lindsay Lohan, it seemed like the lowest point had finally arrived.

But now Efron has gotten his ass kicked by a group of homeless men down in Skid Row.  Getting your money maker smashed by a bunch of dudes covered in piss and rat poop in the middle of crack central is something even the hottest of Hollywood messes haven’t had occur to them.  Oh poor Zacy poo.

Zac Efron is easily the prettiest thing to come out of Disney that wasn’t created by computers in years.  His acting skills may be meh, but that face!  Those eyes! That body…mmm.  Oh sorry.  Anyway, while Efron may be one of the most beautiful creatures ever, it hasn’t been enough to help his career post High School Musical.  He’s been in a few movies, but hasn’t reached the point of being taken seriously as an actor or starring in many successful films.

Which is probably part of the reason Efron ended up succumbing to the Disney curse and having a drug problem.  Last year he went to rehab twice for what most say was an addiction to the bad white shit (he also explains risking his penis by sleeping with Lohan).  After his second trip, and while supposedly “clean,”  Efron had a major fall in his house and had his gorgeous jaw wired shut.  When people started saying someone obviously had a few too many mojitos pre-trip, Zac denied all their asses and said he’s just a rich boy who bought himself a fountain and slipped on some spilled water from it.  Riiiiight.

Well, now Efron has gotten his face all messed up again by getting the shit kicked out of him by a trio of houseless Nickelodeon fans.  Zac was driving through Skid Row with his body guard when the beat down occurred.  I know what you’re thinking, but apparently Zac was NOT there to buy drugs off of dudes dressed in garbage bags and piss covered Dockers.

Originally, the story was that the car Efron was riding in with his bodyguard ran out of gas while driving through hood rat central, so they stopped, parked, and while waiting for a tow truck, Zac decided to say “FUCK RECYCLING!” and chuck a glass bottle out of his window.  The bottle broke too close to a group of three homeless men, so they decided to start a brawl.  At first it was just the bodyguard versus the trio, but then Zac stepped in to help and his face met the sticky fists of one of the guys.  Later, the bodyguard slightly changed the story to say they were on their way to a restaurant when they ran out of fuel, and that the homeless guys attacked out of nowhere with a shank.  Zac then “heroically” saved him by attacking the bullies with a vodka bottle.

Hmm, I don’t fully know this, but if you go to rehab for a drug addiction, shouldn’t you kind of still stay away from booze? And what year is this car? Last I checked, cars make a really annoying beeping sound a few times once your gas tank gets too low.  How the hell does someone run out of gas now a days?  This story smells super fishy (Lindsay, close your legs.  Zac isn’t coming back.).  I have a sneaky suspicion Efron was three sheets to the wind from said life saving vodka bottle, but it’s doubtful we will hear that from him.

Zac needs to realize that his best feature is his face, and constantly putting it into such dangerous situations is not only stupid, but wrong.  You don’t risk something that looks like it was sculpted by the hands of Michelangelo.  That’s just a travesty.

 

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