Video-sharing website YouTube – officially the best place to see stuff online until a big company bought it, took down anything decent and made us all go to Peekvid instead – is to launch its very own awards ceremony.
The public (never the most discerning of judges, it has to be said) will be allowed to vote for their favourite video in a number of categories, including 'most creative', 'most inspirational', 'best series', 'best comedy', 'musician of the year', 'best commentary' and – whatever the bloody hell this may mean – 'most adorable video ever'.
hecklerspray is guessing that this is going to a yearly shebang, although the 'ever' tag attached to 'most adorable video' does give it a slight sheen of finality … as though anyone who disagrees that a kitten in a flowerpot is not the cutey-wutest thing they've ever seen will be eligible for execution.
There's also a YouTube award category for best 'Vlogger' of the year. Now, we don't want to seem hypocritical here – hecklerspray is a blog, don't you know, and therefore we love the medium with all the joy our charcoal hearts can muster – but by Christ, vloggers really piss us off: waffling inept buffoons one and all, chattering away to an indifferent world about the number of people they killed on World Of Warcraft today.
Besides. We all know that award ceremonies are rubbish. So it stands to reason that the YouTube awards are going to be rubbish too.
Instead of paying attention to them, then, we've decided to launch hecklerspray's very own YouTube prizeathon. We've called it The Absolutely Fucking Pointless List Of Honour, and the champions are linked to below:
Best Fat Child Shouting At Computer
Best Forgotten Mid-80s Cartoon Theme Tune
Best Amateur Message To Midday Right-Wing Radio Host Jon Gaunt
Best Spoof On The Godawful State Of British Comedy TV
Best Inexplicably Hilarious Fridge-Hiding Prank
Please note our decisions are final. Probably.
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Max says
German kid must win everything. I’m going to and vote now