You know that girl who was on The X Factor who looked like she was related to the Cuprinol Man? Yeah. The prostitute one called Chloe Mafia. Well, we’ve got bad news for you – you can’t say ‘the prostitute one’ now because she isn’t a prostitute.
Of course, you can imply she’s a lady of the night if you want – we’re not the boss of you. However, you’ll be wrong and rude. She’s not a prostitute, but rather, someone who will take her clothes off for money. Oh, and we totally didn’t pay for her services. Nope.
What’s the difference? Christ, if you don’t know, then hand yourself into the nearest police station.
Like the Chippendales and Adam Rickett, Chloe is paid to stand around with hardly any clothes on.
Victoria told BBC Radio Leeds:
“X Factor rang me one night and said ‘Is there any truth in the story?’ and I said ‘no’. And they said, ‘Well don’t worry, because if there’s no truth in it, it won’t come out’. So I forgot about it.
“It’s not true at all… we’re in this thing called P2P girls, which is ‘Paid to Party’. We get paid to go to different events and do different things.
“But it’s not like you’re sleeping with anyone or anything like that. If they wanted anything extra they’d go to an escort agency, not Paid to Party girls… What I want to do first is try and clear my name – try and prove it obviously.”
Eagle-eyed nerds will probably be tittering at ‘P2P’ because that’s what some people call illegal filesh… *falls asleep typing*. However, here at the hecklerspray bedsit, we’re reminded of the Brass Eye gag, and we can only pray that P2P isn’t a reference to Pipe To Pipe Bushman. Again, that would see a need for people handing themselves in to the nearest police station.
Anyway, one thing that this Chloe lass has in her favour – remarkably – is perspective.
When asked if the show had ruined her life, she said:
“X Factor just ruined my reputation but it hasn’t ruined my life. But then again it’s not X Factor that’s done it, it’s newspapers and stuff like that.
Unbelievable! Most people who have a fling with the spotlight end up mewing and wailing about their lives being in tatters and here we have a young and very orange looking girl who has been able to take a step back and almost shrug at the whole thing.
Victoria added to The Mirror:
“The claims I’m a prostitute have been heart-breaking. There are fake websites about me saying I’m selling myself but they’ve taken pictures from my Facebook.
“I’m just glad my grandad, who died last year and was my guardian angel, was not alive to hear about it.”
So there you have it. A whole story talking about someone who appeared on a singing contest and not once did anyone point out that she can’t sing in tune with a backing tape.
That’s a small victory for Chloe in itself. Something tells us that we won’t be hearing the last of her. Don’t blame us. Blame yourselves for reading this rubbish.