Tomorrow night we're all in for a big treat – it's X Factor bootcamp week. This is the week when Sharon Osbourne has to boot out everyone she put through in auditions just because they told a sad story about their Mum.
Of course, X Factor bootcamp will take us one step closer to finding out who'll ultimately become the winner of X Factor, and all that goes with that title, which – judging by last year – means a bunch of kids that can't really spell simple words leaving largely illiterate comments on British entertainment blogs in the mistaken belief that the X Factor winner somehow works for it. But what about the first single by the X Factor winner? How well will that do?
Here are the X Factor betting odds for 2006 X Factor winner to be 2006 UK Christmas No.1 single…
2006 X Factor winner to be 2006 UK Christmas No.1 single (according to BBC Radio 1) – Durrr, you think? Look, what is X Factor if not the world's longest, most expensive Christmas number one advert? Well, a good excuse to laugh at misguided peasants, but that goes without saying. Everything to do with X Factor is geared towards getting a Christmas number one. The reason X Factor started when it did is so that it can end two Saturdays before Christmas in order for all the the screeching, borderline-illiterate teenagers who have already spent hundreds of pounds on text-votes can go and line up outside Virgin Megastores to buy their copy of whatever bland, oddly familiar, keychange-stuffed Westlife b-side the X Factor winner releases as their first single. Obviously three weeks after that there'll be an almighty backlash and the winner will break down on TV, become addicted to Paxil and never release another song as long as they live, but – yes – Christmas number one. Current X Factor betting odds – 5/6
Next week – Screw this X Factor lark, we're going Strictly Come Dancing, baby!
[story by Stuart Heritage]