Don’t tell William Shatner about aliens. He knows all about aliens. He was captain of the Starship Enterprise.
He’s met loads of aliens. Admittedly most of them looked identical to minor 1960s television actresses and, by ‘met’, we obviously mean that William Shatner has tried poking his fingers up their mimsies at least once in a boneheaded and morally dubious explanation of what love is, but he’s definitely met them. And that’s why he’s so certain that there is life on other planets.
Yes, William Shatner has come out and conclusively stated his belief in aliens. And, yes, the reason we’re telling you this is because arse-all else has happened today and we’d clearly prefer to screech on about nothing than do decent thing and just shut up for a change. Happy now?
Is there life on other planets? This is a question that has divided humans for decades. Some think there is, some think there isn’t, most really haven’t given it much thought because they’re busy people and it really doesn’t make much of a difference either way and shut up because Cash In The Attic‘s on in a minute. But William Shatner knows. Oh, he knows alright.
Actually, he doesn’t know. William Shatner doesn’t have the foggiest about whether aliens can realistically exist or not. How could he? He’s not an astrobiologist. He’s just a man who pretended to be a spaceman for a TV show and then sold something he’d pissed out to a casino. It’s simply his opinion that aliens exist. You know, just like how it was his opinion that releasing a spoken-word album of hits of the day in the 1960s would be a good idea, or that nobody would ever be able to tell that he’s wearing a wig. In short, William Shatner’s opinion is so flawless that we may as well regard it as fact.
Still reading this? Hooray, your lives are as bleak and empty as ours! By way of a congratulation, here’s what William Shatner said about the possibility of life on other planets:
?There is no doubt that there is life out there; the mathematics of it lead you to that absolute conclusion. In my mind, there is no doubt that the universe teems ? teems ? with life in all its forms.?
So there you have it – William Shatner is convinced that aliens exist. Join us tomorrow when we’ll be telling you whether or not Jimmy Tarbuck has ever seen a ghost. Or, oh, something.