Well folks, I hope you’re all ready for the romance of the decade! And no, I’m not referring to this decade. This is a relationship that is straight out of 2003, so much so that I’m not actually sure why I’m blogging about it. But, here I am, writing a blog about the blossoming love between Avril Lavigne and Ryan Cabrera.
And no, this isn’t another post where I try to make another fake couple happen, because I really wouldn’t have gone this irrelevant with it. Even I have standards (but clearly not since I’m writing about this).
Last I heard, Avril was still hanging out with her husband, Lord of the Canadian Douche Bags a.k.a. Chad Kroegar, but I guess she decided she was over dating crappy has-been Canadian musicians, and decided to move on to crappy has-been American musicians who’s biggest claim to fame was dating Ashlee Simpson. Seriously, everything I just wrote and every name I just mentioned is really messing with my head because I really feel like I’ve been transported back to 2003. Guess I’ll pick up some shitty flare jeans and use an ugly skinny scarf as a belt.
Anyway, Avril and Ryan have apparently been buds for years, but APPARENTLY they’ve been secret dating since November 2015 and Avril even moved in with Ryan.
I mean, Ryan Cabrera probably has way less money than Chad Kroegar because for some reason some people actually do listen to Nickelback, but I still consider this an upgrade for Avril. However, you know who this is a downgrade for? Me. My last two blogs have been about a couple I made up and now a couple I shouldn’t even be writing about because, seriously, who gives fuck about Avril Lavigne and Ryan Cabrera? What kind of person goes from writing about the problems of Nate Parker and Black Hollywood to who Avril fucking Lavigne is dating?
I’m sorry, guys. This is a sad day for me.