Well hello! If it isn’t the return of Ben Affleck! What’s he been up to then? Well, he’s been the Man About Town and Smokin’ Aces. He’s enjoyed the Company of Men and… we’re tiring of crowbarring film titles into sentences.
Basically, Affleck is back with a new film which everyone seems to like. He’s not only acting in it, but he’s also written the bloody thing AND directed it too. Three wages at once is a nice little number indeed! Oh, it’s called The Town.
And so, with a load of new films coming out in various stinking cinemas, which ones have been watched more than others?
Is the new Resident Evil still getting the mop out on everyone else?
1. Action crime thrilling thingy, The Town, is based on Chuck Hogan’s novel Prince of Thieves. Chuck Hogan, of course, is the result of a genetic accident that spliced Chuck Norris and Hulk Hogan together to make the world’s hardest and silliest looking man.? The film is set in Boston, Massachusetts where everyone has weird accents. The film features nun outfits and guns… a bit like Nuns On The Run… but not really. (Yes really). $23,800,000
2. Easy A is a hilarious look a some clean-cut kid talking about how she lost her virginity to a gay man! THEN THEY GET BULLIED! HILARIOUS! Then, loads more gay boys ask if they can pretend that they have had sex with her as well, leaving everyone to think she’s some slag or something. She makes money and her good reputation is in pieces. $18,200,000
3. Look! It’s Devil (also known as The Night Chronicles: Devil) which unsurprisingly, is a supernatural thriller rather than a documentary about tiny handheld vacuum cleaners. Of course, this being a supernatural thriller, it means that loads of people die and cry and stand around in dimly lit places wondering what the shitting hell is going on. Of course, the Catholics get involved. $12,584,000
4. Last week’s big hitter Resident Evil: Afterlife falls to number four in the charts, suggesting that, really, no-one is too arsed about this film. So there. Stars thingy and whatsit. $10,100,000
5. Aaah… here we go… a CGI 3D thing called Alpha and Omega which sees some wolves or something pissing about like they’re humans. They are voiced by real life humans Justin Long, Hayden Panettiere, Dennis Hopper, Danny Glover and Christina Ricci. It’s probably like the Lion King. $9,200,000