Oh look! The cinema, as a whole, is still in business. Yep. People still want to go and sit in a darkened room with a bunch of grazing idiots, staring at a screen that actually reduces your intelligence and gives your eyes cataracts.
It’s probably the greatest service that the movies has really because, for every diminished bit of vision and braincell lost, you walk out into that big horrible world and notice one less disgusting thing about it.
And this weekend, we’ve got a bright blue scalp to thank.Yes indeed.
Everyone is still obsessing about an animation, which of course, was always going to do well in the build-up to Christmas. For some reason, humans don’t like staring at real actors around the festive period because it reminds them of mundane things like bills and shoe repair.
Animated characters are fanciful and daft.
1. Has previously alluded to, Megamind still tops the box office charts. It’s the flighty tale about a blue man being a baddie and then, changing his mind and becoming a goodie. Possibly. We can’t remember. Popular culture has eroded our brains so badly that we can’t remember anything. There’s a woman prompting us with thoughts while poking at us with a broom handle. $30,055,000
2. Unstoppable is clearly, the entirely stoppable film (as it lands at number two in the chart) which is an action thriller thing which stars Denzel Washington and Chris Pine. For our ticket stub, we get the thrilling story of a runaway train and two men trying to stop it… and she blew, blew, blew, blew, blew. $23,500,000
3. Due Date is an odd couple tale and a child gets punched in the face or something. $15,530,000
4. You know what we need? We need a film that makes us all frightened into thinking that we’re being invaded by aliens. That’s right. Aliens. Aliens who want to wage war and vaporise our legs clean off our bodies. And so, we get Skyline which is shamelessly a first parter, please watch the sequel or someone gets killed in a Hollywood parking lot. $11,678,000
5. Morning Glory is the film where Harrison Ford tries his hand at comedy. Properly we mean. Not like the funny asides in the Indiana Jones films. It also stars Diane Keaton and Jeff Goldblum, which essentially means its a film for your mum and dad to have a wank over. $9,625,000