The Karate Kid, obviously. Didn’t you read the headline? Seriously, sometimes we wonder why we’re even here. Anyway, the great memory-raping franchise reboot sage of 2010 has finally come to pass, with the new Karate Kid going head to head with the new A-Team. And for some reason, even though it doesn’t star anyone called Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson and The A-Team does, The Karate Kid came out on top. Maybe it’s because he’s not scared of aeroplanes. That’s right, we said it. Did you hear that BA Baracus, you big fictional bellend?
Anyway, the US weekend box office top five is after the jump…
1 – The Karate Kid (Pin The Karate Kid‘s weekend box office success on whatever you want – association to Will Smith‘s star power or the prospect of seeing Jackie Chan in a film that isn’t about a magical piece of clothing – but the simple fact of the matter is that The Karate Kid topped the US weekend box office because Justin Bieber did the theme-tune. Fact) $56,000,000
2 – The A-Team (Maybe that’s something that The A-Team should have considered. Sure, The A-Team has one of the most instantly-recognisable and iconic theme-tunes in the history of television, but imagine how much better the film would have done if they let a foetus in a Beatles wig sing a song about holding hands with a 14-year-old girl there instead) ?26,000,000
3 – Shrek Forever After (Similarly, Shrek Forever After may have spent the last few weeks at the top of the US weekend box office, but would it still be there if it had a theme-tune that largely revolved around the etiquette of text messaging performed by a toothy little turd in a baseball cap? Undoubtedly, yes) $15,800,000
4 – Get Him To The Greek (A disappointing fall for Get Him To The Greek, but ask yourself this – where would it be if, instead of being a film about Jonah Hill trying to accompany Russell Brand on a road trip, it was a film about Justin Bieber trying to accompany Justin Bieber on a road trip? Number one with a bullet, that’s where) $10,100,000
5 – Killers (Bieber Bieber Bieber, Bieber Bieber? Bieber Bieber Bieber! Hahahaha, Bieber! Bieber!) $8,170,000