Big Brother is back in a week’s time and some people (notably the people who work for Channel Five and Holy Moly) are getting very, very excited! However, all is not well at the BB house as our exclusive pictures show!
Pictures have been released of the new Big Brother house and many have cooed about how glamorous it looks (with others shrugging and thinking that it kinda looks like any other BB House).
However, what Endemol, makers of the show, aren’t telling anyone is that the show is danger of being cancelled after it was found that the Elstree studio has been infested with weasels!
Alongside the bright living room, modern furniture and spiral staircase, producers found that the first housemates through the door were a family of weasels.
While experts try to decide whether or not the squatters are pine martens (which are protected, unlike weasels who it’s rumoured will be killed ‘without prejudice’ by former BBer Makosi with her bare hands), producers of the show are weighing up hiring the scavengers as potential housemates.
A source told hecklerspray:
“These creatures are posing a big problem for the producers. On one hand, they quite like the idea of sending in someone like Kerry Katona or Jedward to live side-by-side with the animals. It’ll be Big Brother meets Springwatch. However, they’re worried that viewers won’t be thrilled at the idea of having this disgusting, brainless vermin ruining the reputation of a perfectly nice woodland creature.”
Celebrity Big Brother begins on Thursday, August 18 at 9pm on Five, and here are our exclusive, absolutely real photos of the weasels in residence inside the Big Brother house.
This is all 100% true and, in unrelated news, next week we’ll be advertising for someone who is half decent at photoshop.
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