The Kardashians are the closest thing America has to a Royal Family. Basically, they’re incredibly wealthy, do very little to earn it and are gigantically dislikeable yet still, we watch them when they’re on the TV, muttering swear words under our breath.
At least Americans don’t keep Kim Kardashian in velvet femidoms with their taxes like us gullible Limeys do.
Of course, with royalty comes sham weddings and of course, Kim K recently tied the knot with Kris Humphries who, bless his stupid thick skull, is only just working out that perhaps, perhaps, Kim Kardashian didn’t even vaguely love him and, in fact, used him as a breathing prop for her television show. Ain’t love grand?
Naturally, Kris Humphries is too thick to form proper sounds and would take hours to manage a simple ‘PUH’ noise, so we have to rely on trustworthy, eloquent sources to chatter on his stupid behalf.
God. We can only hope that they’re not making up a load of old shit about him!
Anyway, sources very close (as in, ‘stood right behind him but he’s too dim to notice’) tell TMZ:
Kris is gunning for an annulment based on fraud because he feels “he was just slotted in the plot line of Kim Kardashian’s latest headline and newest business venture.”
Kris believes (or; has been told by someone who can breathe with their mouth shut) that Kim never intended to stay married to him. However, she needed a groom to hike up the ratings for her show.
One source says:
“Once they were finished taping, she just didn’t need a groom anymore.”
Poor ol’ Kris. He’s nothing more than a pawn. People surrounding Kris are also noting that he’s showing signs of fury because there’s some that think he was in on the wedding scam:
“He would have never flown in his childhood pastor to marry them and involve his church.”
Or, he’s preposterously stupid. He’s a man who has probably tried to kick the moon everytime he sees it in the night sky.
Either way – THE DIVORCE NASTINESS IS ON! WAHOO! HULK MAD!