One of the sweetest, most harmless, and inoffensive celebrity couples on the planet have become caught up in a gross kiss-and-tell of sorts that involves saucy texts.
No, you at the back, Ant and Dec aren’t cheating on each other. Seriously. Oi, we can see you sending them strongly-worded messages in all caps on Twitter. Pack it in. Pull yourself together.
Let us re-phrase. The second most sweet, adorable, and harmless couple on television – behind Ant and Dec – have been caught in a gross scandal that both of the family favourites could do without. The man is a lanky television show host, and the woman is a lanky television show… oh never mind… it’s Vernon Kay and Tess Daly.
We’re all about celebrity filth over this way. So we pretty much don’t cover this couple, as we feel semi-confident that on any given day the most scandalous thing either will do is forget to take the bins out on time. We can go off and being snarky about every other celebrity lunatic in the cosmos and leave them in their domestic bliss to cuddle kittens, or snuggle away being a picture perfect family. However, today that trust was pooed on. Pooed on. And we don’t like it when that happens. At least not without warning and allowing us ample time to get the proper shots from the doctor first (and remember kids, the safety word is “Bananas”).
You don’t know how ruddy irritated we were when we woke up yesterday morning to find that our trust had been broken. According to The Sun and – reportedly – his own rep, Vernon has been a very naughty boy.
The accuser is a 23-year-old blonde page three girl, Rhian Sugden. She is said to have met Vernon in a club in Bolton and exchanged a few racy texts. Messages sent also included private communications on Twitter. It makes us feel icky. Like we can’t trust the sanitised, packaged images we’re fed by the media. If we can’t trust our telly box, what can we trust?
From The Sun:
TV golden girl Tess Daly hit the roof last night after it emerged hubby Vernon Kay sent racy texts to a Sun Page 3 beauty. Family Fortunes presenter Kay, 35, sent a flurry of flirty messages to 23-year-old blonde Rhian Sugden. He contacted Rhian using the private mail function on social networking site Twitter and his mobile phone. The Sun has seen numerous messages between the pair – most of which will rile Strictly Come Dancing star Tess. But we have declined to print them because many are of an explicit nature.
Had this been a regular kiss-and-tell involving no confirmation from Vernon we would have just gone back to sleep and continued to dream about chocolate buttons. But we can’t do that, can we, Vernon? We can’t just brush this off quite so quickly, as this story seems to contain an admission.
Last night [Feb. 8th] Kay’s spokesman admitted he had been sending texts to Rhian, but said: “They never at any point had a physical sexual relationship.”
Ew. So we’re going to have to start watching their comings and goings, along with the rest of the celebrity pack, eh. We’d really rather not. With people like Tila Tequila and Heidi Montag on the loose we have bigger fish to fry.
Oh, okay then. We’ll let Vernon go with a warning this once. But the next time he gets caught flirting with a skank, we’re going to wait until we’re actually fully awake to blog and then go bananas at him.
This was a guest post by Amy Grindhouse. Ain’t she adorable?
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