It can’t be easy to come up with new names for animals all the time.
Thousands of new creatures are uncovered every year, and scientists only have so many dogs and kids to inspire them.
So why not delve into the murky world of celebrity? Why not name a new type of predator after your favourite band? Why not christen a new species of maggot after your least favourite? In fact, back in Hecklerspray HQ we have discovered a new type of fungus growing out of one of our unwashed cups. Please free to write in with your suggestions, but at the moment we are leaning towards Sting or Elizabeth Hurley.
1. Neil Young
Have you ever associated trapdoor spiders with peace and justice? No, us neither. But when US biologist James Bond (yes, that really is his name) discovered a new type of arachnid, he felt compelled to call it after his favourite musician Neil Young. Why? “Because I have a great appreciation for him as an activist for peace and justice,” was his reply, after naming his eight-legged discovery Myrmekiaphilia neilyoungi. We don’t know about you, but this seems like a wasted opportunity. We love Neil Young, but if you are going to name an animal after him, shouldn’t it have been a llama or at least something which smells and looks like a tramp as pissed on it?
2. Sting
Now, this is another wasted opportunity, as far as we are concerned. We can think of a thousand disgusting things we would like to name Sting. But in 1994, a scientist – in recognition of the ‘singer’s’ ceaseless campaigning to save the rainforests – named a new type of Colombian tree frog after him. Now we love frogs here at Hecklerspray, but if a Hyla stingi comes anyway near our vicinity it will die – horribly. Harsh? Maybe. But it ain’t easy being green, and, besides, it probably has a really annoying croak.
3. George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld
Now, this is more like it. We can’t think of a better trio to name after slime-mould beetles. Apparently, Agathidium bushi, A cheneyi and A rumsfeldi are suing for defamation.
4. Boris Becker
Let’s face it, the German tennis star has always been a bit slimy. So when a new kind of sea snail was found in 1996, the scientist knew just the celebrity to name it after. Apparently, Bufonaria borisbeckeri is also a well-known shagger.
5. Elvis Presley
We can’t believe an Elvis-mad scientist actually managed to get away with calling a new wasp he discovered in 1994 after his favourite song. Its name? Preseucoila imallshookupis .
6. The Ramones
Four new arthropod fossils were discovered in 1997 and named after the members of the US punk band.
Feel free to insert your own jokes about Mackenziurus johnnyi, Mjoeyi, M deedeei amd M ceejayi.
7. Arnold Schwarzenegger
In 2002, a carapid beetle was named Agra schwarzeneggeri because of its particularly impressive bicep-like middle leg section. Should have gone for Linford Christie.
Source: ShortList magazine