Twitter’s main purpose is giving us regular folk a look in to the lives of the rich and famous. So it’s a downright shame that most celebrity Twitter accounts are a downright snoozefest.
We don’t want to know what their favourite brand of macrobiotic smoothie is, we want Twit-pics of them snorting coke off a lap dancer’s chest and talking freely about which celebrities they most want to punch in the left tit. Luckily, where normal Twitter accounts fail us, parody accounts pick up the slack nicely.
Hannah Spears – @hannahspears
Britney Spears’ pet terrier has over 50,000 people following her. Just take that in for a second. Her tweets are mostly made up of Britney lyrics re-worked to include what it’s like to be a dog e.g. “If I accidentally chewed on your shoes, would you hold it against me?”, and uncomfortable references to Britney as ‘Mommy’. What’s even more awkward is that it’s Britney herself – or more likely one of her assistants – behind the account. But it’s this sheer awkwardness that makes the account so unintentionally hilarious.
Harry Potter – @ArryPottah?
There may not be any more books or films to look forward to, but we’ll always have the dozens of parody accounts. @ArryPottah is by far the funniest of the lot, coupled with the fact that he frequently gets in to sassy online arguments with @Lord_Voldemort7 and rewrites rap lyrics to suit the magical community. If J.K Rowling started up a Twitter account for each of the main characters herself, would they be verified by Twitter?
Queen Elizabeth – @Queen_UK
Gin, fried breakfasts and glorious uses for the word ‘sodding’ make up the feed for her Majesty. This is the account for you if you feel like you should be keeping up with world events, but want it delivered in hilarious and sarcastic bite-sized chunks.
Betty White – @BettyFckinWhite
From one feisty old lady to another, this account actually has very little to do with the fact that it’s Betty White and more to do with random hilarious observations. Which I guess is still very Betty White. Also it’s not hard to imagine that this is the woman herself, just messing us all around.
Katie Hopkins – @KTHopkin
It’s also easy to believe that this account is run by the actual person, but for a completely different reason. The Katie Hopkins parody account will either have you rolling around with laughter or it will fly right over your head, there is no in-between. If you are one of the people who don’t get who this woman is, then watch this. She was one of the most hated ‘Apprentice’ contestants ever, but shot to infamy recently for being a hateful snob who judges small children based on their names.
Helen Keller – @The_HelenKeller
There’s nothing like mocking ?the severely disabled for cheap laughs! In all seriousness, it’s OK to laugh at this as long as you’re perfectly comfortable with spending the rest of eternity in hell. I’ll save you a seat.
Nadine Coyle – @NuhdeenCoyleNow
…The one from Girls Aloud. No, not Cheryl Cole, the Irish one. No? Well anyway, if you replaced the name with somebody made up, you have the makings of a hilarious sitcom about a washed up girl band singer desperately trying to recapture her glory days and nursing grudges against all her former band mates. The account also serves as a great way to teach yourself the Northern Irish accent at home.
Feminist Taylor Swift – @Feministtswift
It’s not entirely clear whether this is complimenting Taylor or insulting her, but the deadpan humour coming from amending her lyrics is pretty awesome. But if this is all a little reserved for you, may I suggest…
Feminist Hulk – @feministhulk
For the purposes of this list, The Hulk is now a celebrity. If there were more social justice-centric superhero accounts, he’d be on that list. ?And he doesn’t just care about smashing the patriarchy, he also weighs in on racism and current events. Zimmerman being acquitted made Hulk mad (Read in his voice).
Tilda Swinton – @NotTildaSwinton
Sure, she’s a great actress, but how is she at dishing out otherwordly musings with a positive message in them? Pretty damn great, apparently. This is like Courtney Stodden’s account if she’d actually finished high school and then gone to live in a hippie commune where she dances naked under a full moon. Actually, she probably already does that.