Though Daniel Craig is still alive and well and will continue his double life as 007 in the next two James Bond movies, rumors have been going around this week that Tom Hardy will take over once Craig steps down from the martini throne.
“Tom is right at the top of the wish list. He’s been approached to gauge his interest and he’s keen,” an anonymous source reported. If it’s true, great! I love Tom Hardy. He’s a talented actor with very nice lips. I’m sure he’d do a bang-up job, and I can totally see him doing the whole “Bond… James Bond” thing in his Bane voice. (Do they actually still say that? I’ve only ever seen Skyfall…)The source added:
”He is a respected actor with a great catalogue of films but most importantly he’s the type of guy that all men want to be like and all women want to be with. He’s perfect Bond material.”
Can’t argue with that. My only hang-up is this: Several months ago, much to the delight of my fellow Luther fangirls and me, some evil genius threw out the idea of Idris Elba as Bond, and now it’s hard to imagine anyone else but him suiting up, swilling expensive booze, chasing down bad guys with tiny guns, and elegantly boning ladies left and right. It was in no way even a legit rumor, so there was no reason to latch onto it like a barnacle, but picture it:
Idris Elba, as James Bond: “Give me a martini… shaken, not stirred.”
Female Bartender: “Would you maybe want to drink it out of my vagina? ‘Cause I’d be totally okay with that.”
Still, as super hot and bangable as Elba is, there is something Bond-like in the way Hardy tells Joseph Gordon-Levitt to “dream a little bigger” in Inception. (Fun Fact: He apparently wants Christopher Nolan to direct him as Bond, so we might not get the Bond we deserve but the one we need.)
Hardy even has a bit of experience playing a spy in This Means War! Totally the same thing, right? The only difference is James Bond wouldn’t have to battle his BFF for the girl — he’s James Fucking Bond. Women fall on his dick before he even knows what’s happening.