The Slap-Happy Spears’
If you've ever wanted to watch Britney Spears punch her mother in the face and then ram her knee into her mother's face, and you've also wanted to watch her mother start throwing elbows in her daughter's general direction, and then somehow violently include a chainsaw in the whole mess, have we ever got news for you!
As you've probably guessed, Lynne Spears hasn't recklessly hacked off any of her daughter's famous limbs – after all, that'd be headline material. But we can tell you reports are surfacing of a crazy slap-fest between the two that resulted in the elder Spears being served with some sort of legal documents.
Now hecklerspray doesn't think any of this is the least bit funny as we were raised by a wolf whom we eventually had to strangle & eat. What we're saying is we know how hard it is to harm a parent. And then eat them.
You gotta chew & cry at the same time. It's the hardest thing we've ever had to do.
The family Spears has had a long history of conflict. K-Fed joined the new WWF to work through his marriage woe, Brit's older boy is possibly enrolled in a super-elite ninja school, and Lynne Spears got served legal papers by her daughter in the recent past.
We reported on that last one – but at the time we weren't sure what the papers were about. Now we know. They were the result of a physical cat-fight between Britney and her mother. Fox News says:
"Tensions between Britney Spears and her mother, Lynne, have flared so much that they slapped each other during one ugly fight in mid-June."
MSNBC gave some details as to what sparked the madness:
"The trouble reportedly began when Lynne Spears stopped by her daughter’s house with an invitation on the weekend of June 15. “Lynne barged into the house and insisted on taking the kids out to spend some private time with them,” an insider told the tab. “She didn’t ask or suggest, she demanded!” says the insider. “Then she began denigrating Britney’s mothering skills and losing her temper at the same time!”
We've heard unreliably that the full fight was incredible. Women were swinging from chandeliers, pouncing off tables & drop-kicking teeth out. Two flares were launched to signal reinforcements, and then Lynne whipped out the Sword of Omens – which is completely irresponsible.
They'll need it for the movie you know.
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